who do they think they are?!!!! (serious rant)

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novbride1 Posts: 43
I am absolutely furious, getting married abroad in november and people seem to think its a free for all!!! O:| Was up with a friend the other night and she informed me that 2 of her friends are also travelling over but dont expect to attend the wedding but may pop in for the afters (No intention of having afters abviously as wedding abroad!) They are staying in the same hotel and are girls i'm not particularly crazy about. Then the following day I get a text from my S.i.l to be to say that my other s'i'l to be's daughter has booked her flights along with her boyfriend (who's not invited). I mean where do people get off, this is our day and people seem to think its perfectly acceptable to gate crash. I mean do they think because its abroad that its a free reception!!! I am fit to explode. If i say anything it will cause trouble but it really is getting in on me and coming between me and my rest. >:o( Its hard to believe this goes on, I know that generally there is hassle about weddings and who's coming and not coming but this beggers belief. Has anyone else had experience of this?
starz Posts: 110
Hey, I agree that this must be terribly annoying but people will have the attitude of "well its a free country so we can book our hols whereever and whenever we want"!! Its a bit of a catch 22 to be honest, maybe have a word with your friend and explain how your feeling?? I would never have the cheek to go to someones wedding if I wasn't invited and maybe they will stay clear of the hotel on that day if they have any cop on??
Carrie Bradshaw Posts: 683
yea, but you say you're not having an 'afters'?? so it they're planning on popping in for the 'afters that wont be an afters' what harm can it do? won't your main reception/meal etc be over by that time? look you'll have all your invited guests to look after etc..and if these other people do 'pop in', you seriously dont have to go out of your way to even talk to them, never mind entertain them. if i were you, and they did turn up, i'd briefly say a v quick hello and say something like, 'i cant talk, i've so many of my GUESTS to meet and greet, i've no time for anything else'..they'd soon get the message. dont worry about them.
Lady loves chocolate Posts: 433
Jeez what a nightmare. While I agree obviously people can go on holidays wherever they want they cant turn up at whatever wedding they want. Talk to your friend and SIL -tell them you dont want a free for all-you want your friends and family at your wedding -if they dont cop onto that you may have to grin and bear it. I hope you get it sorted-that woudl drive me nuts too
edit Posts: 982
Loreve Posts: 501
Just a warning on this.. Our DJ (brother of friends) had to travel up with our friend as his own car was wrecked so he needed the lift. I didn't see this as a problem as I assumed he would just bugger off to his B&B or hand around the town until the time he was booked for. When I arrived at venue the DJ guy was happily enjoying the champagne reception and chatting to his brothers (our guests) and just hanging around and not leaving. He even got into some of the photos. In the end we felt so guilty as we were going into the meal and he was still there walking in with everyone, that we felt we had no choice but to invite him to the meal. I mean WTF! :eek So just be warned about people being in the same hotel and saying they won't be in the way because it really doesn't happen like that.
gasbride Posts: 941
Bubski Posts: 1785
While I agree with the other posters I was just thinking if I was going to a wedding abroad (I was invited not my BF) but I still go on holiday with my BF - I think it would be rather mean to leave my BF on his todd for the whole day. I mean if you are not having afters and its going to cost you nothing - why not let them come for the evening celebration. Better than leaving them on their own ALL day with not much to do. Just an opinion thats all - look at it from their point of view as well.
Desert-Moon Posts: 1174
This happened to me at my wedding and it wasn't even abroad!!! I noticed a bunch of grungy crusties at the afters and had no idea who they were. Turns out they were friends of SIL. She told them where wedding was on, and they all turned up! WTF :ooh I actually asked one of them who they were and he didn't even seem embarrassed to be asked this by the bride! Obviously I ignored them all, but it lowered the tone a bit. They looked like extras from Thriller. O:|
Elliecat Posts: 2725
Kind of agree with Bubski on the boyfriend one, but then I probably wouldn't not invite a boyfriend to a wedding whether it was here or abroad, and if they're old enough and serious enough to be going on hols together then I would personally have inited him. BUT I know everyone has different views on this and every family situation is different too. On the other hand, the two friends of friends definitely have a bit of a cheek, tell her to p8ss off!