Why are H2B's so stupid???

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yummymumm Posts: 824
No he wanted them to take ryan cos they won't get to see him while we are on honneymoon! It was nothing to do with less stress for me! He also has notions of abandoning me for the few days before the wedding to go down to his parents - I'm not even saying anything to him, he'll realise closer to the date that there is more to do than just turning up on the day!! Men are so stupid!! My H2b keeps comming up with new ideas and things to add to my list of thinsg to do. He told me last night he wants to hire cars for the wedding party..ie his parents. I am using my dads car as my wedding car to lessen costs, and now he wants to hire one for his family??? He has a habit of doing everything for his family and paying for it as if he's loaded. He had the cheek to ask his cousins husbands parents to the afters as they will be over from england for the weekend!! I was like you what???? Do you think I was unreasonable in being shocked? I can't tell him to uninvite them, but I am pretty annoyed about it. Its all a power thing, he does not liek the fact that my parents are the ones who control the wedding guest list, even though they pay for it. He was the one going on about the "traditional way you should do things" constantly , and traditionally, the brides parents haev to vet the list of guests and they ok them or not - my mam and dad didn't do this - but I can't tell them he's invited his cousins inlaws???? I mean his cousin is lucky to be going, never mind her husbands parents. Oh an he is still going on about the invites...I let him help me, and he is acting as if he has just climed a mountain, he is so "mentally exhausted" after doing them...eh try organising the wedding in 3 months pal!!!! I do love him but I feel the need to vent!! O:|
Tantrums & Tiaras Posts: 123
Men are just children and think about themselves all the time. Don't worry, just write a list of things for him to do, give it to him, without asking if he wants to do it, just tell him he has to and then i'm sure he'll wake up and realize the effort you're putting in. Don't forget to put the car hire for his family on his list. Let your H2B do things for himself and if he can't do them, then it's very simple, he doesn't have what he wants on the day and he only has himself to blame. He'll do the things in enough time. Don't stress. About the invites to the cousins husbands parents, he went a bit too far. You'll have to have a chat with him and tell him you are not turning your wedding into a circus for whoever happens to be in town. Don't let the stress ruin your preparations. Go out on a girls night out to get all of his nonsense out of your head. You'll feel better.
boomboomgroom Posts: 19
Hi, Im not sure i agree with the Men are Children part (haha) but im sure if you tell him that this day means the world to you and that you dont want any lingering thoughts about who is at the wedding, why they are at the wedding etc etc then he SHOULD understand and uninvite them in the most diplomatic way possible. Us men do make mistakes but we not all bad, we just need a little guidence once in a while off our better halfs. I can also see it from H2Bs point of view even though he is wrong, we get caught up in the common misconception of ( I cant leave them off the list beause they know X and he/she will be pi**ed off if i dont ask X who also knows X) Us guys are not great at letting people down or disappointing people in general, we pretend were all hard but you really know were softies. Anyway just try to explain the situation rather than TELLING him how its going to be. It usually works on me when i go and do things my Fiancee does not like. Good luck.
AllisonR Posts: 249
I agree with BBG (sorry for shortening) above, men are not quite children but sometimes act that way. From the sounds of it your H2B got caught up in the excitement of the wedding talking to his cousin and it poped into his head and came out of his mouth without thinking about it. My H2B did this but it wasnt even relatives in law it was a crowd in the pub. Just got talking about the wedding a felt if would be rude not to invite them! :o0 We (my SSIA) are paying for the wedding so had to explain that you cant invite any Tom, Dick or Harry. I know your thinking he should know this already but sometimes its the obivous things that dont occur to them. Dont get too stressed, calmy explain that he has to consider the size of the guest list and also how what he did stresses you. I also agree that if he wants something included in the wedding plans he should reasearch it and book himself aswell as splitting the things that are left to do. Women have a hell of a lot more preparations of their own to organise so you are your co-ordinator not a wedding co-ordinator.
ANAIS21 Posts: 2401
:wv They are definitely from Mars..You need to sit down with him and tell him what he is doing is wrong, i do agree with boomboomgroom, that men do need a bit of guidance from their other half's.. If he doesn't listen to, play him at his own game, tell him he has to hire a car for your Parents seperately aswell as hiring one for his Parent, usually they wake up when it's affecting their wallet.. :o0 :o0 Best of luck, god i dread what's ahead of me next year.. xx
yummymumm Posts: 824
Thanks everyone - I actullt think H2B has had his brain removed too!! Not a big operation I know!!! lol!! He managed to run up a 4k cedit card bill on non wedding related things last month, and I am the one footing the bill and my parents are looking after the reception...so as you can imagine money is a touchy subject! I've gotten to the stage where is I want to talk to him about the wedding, I have to email him, If I talk to his face he is like a cat getting its back up... its like someone has turned on a groomzilla button! Gave him a list of our costs compared to our available funds and I think that has calmed him down for 5 mins - started suggesting we cancel loads of stuff!! One extreme to another!!