Wishing for a baby

We've Moved!

Our wonderful discussion forums have now moved to Facebook...

Click to join us in our HIGM ("Help I'm Getting Married") group!

dreamychick Posts: 124
Did any of you wonder how you would cope when the baby was born or am I just worrying? We would love to have a baby but the one thing that turns us off is, of course, work and money! I leave home at 6.30am every morning for the long commute to work and this is what I'm worried about. What would I do with the baby? We are both well paid at the moment but there is now way I could give up work to be a stay at home mammy, as much as I'd love to, but if I dont give up work who would take a baby from 6am until 6pm?! At the same time, I know we're not getting any younger and we can't put our lives on hold. Do these things just work out themselves? I know I can't be the first person to think like this so would love some advice. Thanks :thnk
Mrs.G Posts: 1828
Hi there...I suppose everyone is different. For me, there wasn't two ways about it... we were dying to have a baby the minute we got married. Was lucky to get pregnant straight away. I was a "career woman" of sorts, but actually have just lost my job since last week, which really has made me realise that work is not what is important in life...it's the real things that are important like love & family. I mean, I always felt I knew this, but has re-affirmed it. I guess what I am trying to say that if you really want to have a baby all the other stuff the logistics, the minders etc. will work itself out.
Pumpernickle Posts: 206
Would changing your hours of work be an option if you were to have a baby??? I'm planning on cutting down my hours once I return from maternity leave (assuming I still have a job to return to!!! Damn recession!!!).
WOLMOL Posts: 39
I've been mad for a baby for years and did the whole struggle of a long commute for a career. I worried about conceiving and carrying a baby healthily with a stressful job and long commute, since it already made my health suffer. I chose to move jobs - taking a step back essentially to a job where I now have flexitime and know I can balance working full time and raise a child when it is time to return to work (can't afford not to anyhow!!!). Might be something for you to consider...HTH
fidelma20 Posts: 28
I say "go for it" - have that baby. They bring so much joy & everything else just works out. Everything changes when you have a baby. They become the most important thing in the world & nothing else matters. I was a real career girl, am in a really good job, but to be honest, the most important thing to me is my children. I am considering giving up work when the next one comes along. We wont have much money but that doesnt matter to me anymore. It use to matter. Car, house, clothes all mattered before but when children come along, they dont matter anymore. Go for it. Its the best thing that could happen for a couple.
Bridget Posts: 539
I would say go for it. I was always very much into work etc. I even did further study for work in my late 20s. I got married 2 yrs ago, (when I was nearly 34) I have become very 'settled' i.e. I love my sat & sun at home with DH. I don't want to go out socialising at the weekend as being out for the week working is enough! Health was suffering with long hours etc, so I changed jobs last year, (took a pay cut and shorter hours). Now I work up and take every bit of flexitime in my job (you can work up 1.5 days a month). Now that I am pregnant I am really looking forward to maternity leave. I have hols carried forward from last year, to add to mat leave. I even might take some unpaid leave. This would have been unthinkable to me just a few short years ago. I am saying that you should go for it if you want a baby. It may take up to a year or more to conceive. Also, regarding your job: ask yourself do you want to be 40 with no children and still getting up at 6am for a commute to work? I know work can be very satisfying but is it THAT satisfying, that you would give up the chance of a family. Everyone is different, and I'm sure there are some people who would prefer a career and do not mind having no kids. Best of luck
sunnygirl Posts: 1876
I think you just have to worry about it when the time comes. I leave the house at 7am, don't get back til 7pm. My husband has better hours, leaves at 9am, back at 6pm, but he also works abroad now and then. I honestly don't know how we are going to cope. I've been reading about creche fees and it's such a rip off. Preferably I'd like to go back to work part-time but our office has stopped all 3/4 day weeks so I don't know what we're gonna do. Don't know any childminders either! But I'll worry about it closer to the time! Just want to get through the pregnancy first!!
firefly78 Posts: 312
my baby is a week old and all I can say is, it changes your whole perspective on everything. your life will never be the same again although we are keeping some normality and not letting her take over, but it's the best thing ever. :o)ll
kala Posts: 1937
i have to agree with bridget. ds is almost 6 months are we are starting to ttc no 2. thought i was mad but when i read bridgets post i realise we are not. i was 30 in november and like that don't want to be nearly 40 still trying to have a family. giving birth to ds has been the best thing that has happened to me and hubby (besides falling in love with eachother). i have no more interest in going out, my home my son my hubby are my priorities. nothing in the world bothers me-not even the recession cos i have 2 important men in my life. i use to be listening to people telling me take your time etc having kids. me and hubby didn't wait at all- we started ttcing immediately after getting married and was lucky enough to get pregnant 6 months later. i'm glad we didnt hang around.once i was made permanent in my job shortly before we married i couldn't wait to start and i don't regret it.
1