Would you be annoyed??

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mrslovebird Posts: 95
.....or am I just being a selfish Bridezilla?? Ok I will try and keep this short........ I am having a small hen, just close friends and family, this has been the plan since I got engaged as I am not a fan of big hen parties. So we are heading to a hotel about 30 mins away for b&b, dinner and spa day in May. I text my friend Mary (she is one of my best friends, would prob have been one of my bridesmaids if I was allowed have more!) yesterday to let her know the date as CBM booked it and she replie :o( d straight away "sounds great but I wont be going" as its her daughters bday. Fair enough I completly understand its her daughters bday but Im annoyed that it had to be so final. Im annoyed as if it was my daughters bday id suggest heading down to meet up in the evening for the meal or even later for a few drinks as hotel only down the road. I didnt reply.....I know I should have! >:o) She rang me later that evening but I didnt answer and then text and said "i hope your not mad I not going" so I replied afterwards and said its ok, hope all well with u, chat soon. I know, I know...I should have said I am upset but I really dont want it all to kick off!! I just feel let down ......I will prob be over it in a day or two but I just dont want to talk now. She rang today and I missed the call but she left a voicemail just saying she was calling for a chat....I dunno what to do or say? Please let me know what you think girls?? Am I a selfish Bridezilla?? >:o) >:o) >:o)
goinloco Posts: 774
aww i think you should give her a break! the fact that she keeps trying to make contact shows to me that she feels bad about not being able to make it! she probably has plans for her daughters birthday and thats why she replied so fast. i think its worse when someone says yes they are going when they know for sure that they have no intention! i know you are upset that she wont make it but when you pick a date you cant please everyone :action32
gottabfp Posts: 5641
If she is your bestfriend you should be able to say anything to her, maybe ring her and tell her you are upset and maybe you can organise something together as you really want her part of your wedding day. I think if you dont say anything it will just eat you up.
Jawl Posts: 8881
Hmmmmm, that is a toughie. I'm 50/50 on this. Half of me thinks she's got a very valid reason for not going it's her daughters birthday and I'd probably not want to leave my child either on their birthday. But then I know she's a close friend too, but I guess her child comes first. Toughie, can't call it. But it's not fair for you to be upset with her really, if you hadn't consulted with her about the date first. I still set the date for mine, but I ran it by my closest friends who I really wanted there.
theoracle Posts: 7664
Personally, no I wouldn't be annoyed, dissappointed maybe, but then I am very laidback about things like that. You should talk to her about it, maybe give yourself a chance to cool down first and then talk to her calmly about it.
happyfamily Posts: 3323
It's her daughter's birthday-of course she can't go. Your CBM should have checked that the date suited people before booking it but not the date is set and it's completely unfair to expect her to miss her daughters birthday. I'm really sorry you're upset but you've no rigth to be annoyed with her imo
happyfamily Posts: 3323
[quote="mrsjuly2011":bxshbnh8] she replie :o( d straight away "sounds great but I wont be going" as its her daughters bday. Fair enough I completly understand its her daughters bday but Im [b:bxshbnh8]annoyed that it had to be so final[/b:bxshbnh8]. [/quote:bxshbnh8] You also seem quite upset at the bluntness of her text message. Don't forget the text massages are so easy to misinterpret so you're reading into this text that she just didn't care while in fact i think she was very direct with you because she didn't want to mess you around and wanted to let you know straight away that she wouldn't be able to come.
CroB2B2011 Posts: 399
I can understand you being disappointed, but no I don't think you have the right to be annoyed, of course she won't miss her daughter's birthday. Deal with your disappointment and move on, it's not worth jeopardising the friendship over.
RainbowNinja Posts: 4437
did you help pick the date of your hen? did you not know if was her daughters bday? think you should try not to be annoyed and not let it come between ye or ruin your hen :wv :wv re the bluntness, maybe she was a bit annoyed you didnt take her daughters bday into consideration
ghostchild2 Posts: 6237
[quote="happyfamily":28cxh45y]It's her daughter's birthday-of course she can't go. Your CBM should have checked that the date suited people before booking it but not the date is set and it's completely unfair to expect her to miss her daughters birthday. I'm really sorry you're upset but you've no rigth to be annoyed with her imo[/quote:28cxh45y] Totally agree with the above, you have no right to be annoyed. It's not her fault the dates clash and as another op said if you are such good friends how come you didn't know/care it was her daughters birthday?????