Would you have kids if you couldn't afford to?

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cherries on top Posts: 521
Just wondering. Both me and h2b are in employment at the moment but I know if one of us lost our jobs (and it could be likely) that we would really struggle, I don't even think we could make ends meat. This has made be think about kids, of course I want one or two but I know I couldn't afford one at the moment. THen I'm thinking will I ever be able to afford one. My mam always says that you can always fit in a child (i'm 28 and she thinks i'm getting past it!). Even in 5 years I still don't think i can afford to have one, hoping we will still be in employment then. Then I start thinking god I'm going to leave it too late. Ideally I'd love to be pregnant in 2 years time but the economic climate frightens the hell out of me. So what I'm asking, if you are planning children, has the recession affected your decision or are you just going for it?
gottabfp Posts: 5641
just going for it. dh is out of work but god knows how long that will be, i for one am not putting my life on hold because of the damn r word. ive always longed for a baby. money cant buy you happiness but a baby will make me happy. il do my best to give my child everything they need even if we go without... so worth it in my opinion,
curlywurly Posts: 158
IMO there is no such thing as not being able to afford children. I am one of 9 children where only my dad worked for a minimum wage and my mum stayed at home and minded us. We got by, didnt have any luxuries but you dont miss what you never had! Children do not have to be a huge expense if you budget, buy second hand and ignore the latest trends etc! People can compromise on holidays, nights out, cars etc if they want to have children. Its very do able in my opinion!
Chancer Posts: 233
I wouldn't let the recession put me off because it won't last forever but I would certainly prepare as much as possible for the worst case scenario. Like arranging payment protection on mortgage/loans to cover, illness, permanent disability, death & unemployment. I would also begin saving as much as possible every month/week and get yourself into good habits. At 28 you're far from over the hill but if you try to sort yourself financially now in 6 months to a years time everyone will have a better idea of what's happening with the economy and you'll have savings behind you. You could also look at taking in a lodger to generate more cash so that you have a nice nest egg for when you do start trying. TTC and eventually having a child are stressful enough times without the added financial worry. I don't believe there is ever a "right" time to have a child, there will always be some reason not to. HTH :wv
Nadie Posts: 1111
Well I'm having a baby soon and I spend a LOT of time worrying about our finances. But there will never, ever be a time where we think we have enough to support ourselves and a baby or two so we just went for it cos we know we want kids. I'm 30 and I wanted to get going, cos I wanted there to be time to try and time to get help conceiving if we needed it. Turned out we didn't need any help though, got pregnant the first month! One thing that made my mind up re TTCing was the idea that I might look back in ten years, having not had kids because of a lack of money, and how awful that would feel. They'll be worth more than gold.
havemovedon Posts: 2013
[quote="Chancer":39mzurx6]I wouldn't let the recession put me off because it won't last forever but I would certainly prepare as much as possible for the worst case scenario. Like arranging payment protection on mortgage/loans to cover, illness, permanent disability, death & unemployment. [/quote:39mzurx6] +1 I don't believe there is a "right" time to have a baby but there sure are "not so good" times. If I was genuinely worried about job security I would think long and hard about having a baby. Of course a baby would be loved but why put myself under such financial pressure, sleepless nights and worrying about money constantly if I don't have to? curlywurly I know people who can't afford children. They can't make their mortgage repayments or pay their bills at the end of the month. Nothing to do with luxuries or toys. Why bring a child into such a precarious situation?
cherries on top Posts: 521
[quote="rioja":39z59rq5][quote="Chancer":39z59rq5]I curlywurly I know people who can't afford children. They can't make their mortgage repayments or pay their bills at the end of the month. Nothing to do with luxuries or toys. Why bring a child into such a precarious situation?[/quote:39z59rq5][/quote:39z59rq5] That's what I'm worried about Rioja, I think times are differnent to our parents. I was the youngest of 7. My dad always worked but things were tough. We had a great childhood but we struggled, now i don't care for all the presents etc... (I still can't believe some people are going all out this xmas - my sil is struggling financially but is still mananging 5 big pressies for the kids but then moans oh the poor kids aren't going to have a good xmas this year we have no money etc...- madness imo). But my parents mortgage was a car loan to some people these days (I know times have changed and can't really compare) I just think in away it was easier for our parents cos they wouldn't have had as many financial worries as we do now due to big mortgages (and I mean a 200k loan which isn't that big in the scheme of things) If I have a child I don't want to be a burden (whether it be on parents or the state) but then as a previous poster said I don't want to look back in 10 years and say why didn't I do it when I could?
havemovedon Posts: 2013
[quote="cherries on top":2ymxj0bv] If I have a child I don't want to be a burden (whether it be on parents or the state) but then as a previous poster said I don't want to look back in 10 years and say why didn't I do it when I could?[/quote:2ymxj0bv] Well if I was over 35 and in a position where money was tight but I wasn't depending on social welfare, I'd go for it. If we were in dire financial straits, I'd have to consider it very carefully.
katgirl Posts: 1258
well for me its full steam ahead with the ttcing ,my dh and I are thankfully still employeed, i will manage somehow if something happened our jobs, im ttcing now for the last 14mts to no avail, im currently waiting on results from DH siemen analysis and for my bloods and i would love a baby with all my heart, im 33 in 2 weeks and im not getting any younger, im sorry i put it off for so long as i just thought like most people that it would happen within a few months of trying, I know money is important and a factor in deciding to have childern but its not everything and it can take a long time to get pregnant, im just sorry i didnt start sooner
walkingwollie Posts: 3344
If you thought you would end up homeless and destitute and unable to feed a child, I'd say it's a tough decision, but probably you should hold out for some financial security.. but given that such a dire situation is unlikely for most people in our society who can fall back on family or other sources of income, it's probably just a matter of having to 'downsize' your expectations of what you will be able to afford for your child ond 'make do and mend'. In that case, I would say go for it. So many of us have memories of hand-me-downs and hard financial times from the '80's and we all lived to tell the tale, with happy childhood memories to boot. It was probably a million times harder on our parents than it was on us.. so if your question is will it make it more stressful if you fall on hard times, well, yeah, probably.. but I don't think it's selfish or bad to want to conceive a child in an uncertain economic climate. We don't know how this recession is going to go - for all we know, in three or four years it might be harder.. but having a child is risky business always. No one knows what the future holds.. If you feel the urge and it's what you truly want, just do it :wv