There's one to the groom. I can't remember the exact wording, but there's the one that goes something like "to keep your marriage sweet, just remember this bit of advice - when she's right, she's right - even when she's wrong!"
The two messages that still crack me from our wedding were: "Noodlehead and hubby, hope you have a fantastic day, Noodlehead I'm sure you look beautiful as always. Sorry we can't be there (cue a pause from Groomsman) - then again, you didn't invite us!" The place erupted!! I was mortified, going "J.C who the hell did we forget to invite" I ran through the guest list panicking. Then the Groomsman finished the message "......love from ! & 1" You can see the utter panic on my face courtesy of the wedding dvd!
I had to explain to everyone that, the couple in question were getting married themselves in less than a week, so both couples knew each other couldn't make the weddings. Cue more laughing.
Then the funniest one came along and the timing of the G.M was spot on, he knew when to do the dramatic pauses.... The next one started off like your normal message, then it took a twist. "I remember Noodlehead very fondly.......how we used to spend so many wonderful times together, I have such fond memories of our special times together....." I'm nearly getting sick now, thinking fck, this better not be an ex! I was getting looks from my brand new hubby and the place was in stitches. Then the end came, "lots of love from......? ?!" It was my turn to burst out laughing.....it was from a kid (now about 25) I used to babysit for!!!!!!
His parents were sitting right in front of the top table and the pair of them were in convultions!!!
For me, that was the best wedding message!! I spoke to the Mum and she said that he had been dying to get the read out, and she couldn't wait to tell him how well it went down with everyone!