Our mrs2be newlywed Kirsten tells us how she’ll spend her first Christmas as a married woman.
Previously, in Arnotts…
This year marks the first Christmas I’ll have ever spent away from home. Even though we’ve been together for 3 and a half years, I’d always gone home at Christmas. It was the only time during the year that I ever went home, and so in my mind, Christmas = Home a notion that didn’t really hit me until DH and I were strolling through Arnotts, picking out decorations for our house. Right then it hit me this year I won’t be at home. I won’t be guaranteed a white Christmas. I won’t get to watch all my favourite Christmas specials on TV with my uncle on Christmas Eve. I won’t wake up on Christmas morning to the smell of my mom’s fresh baked cinnamon rolls, and I won’t get to enjoy my gran’s traditional Christmas dinner.
But I will get to experience Christmas with DH’s family this year. And that still means eating, drinking and being merry surrounded by friends and family. And if the weather keeps going the way it has been, I might get a white Christmas after all!
Two sets of families, but only one Christmas
Christmas seems to arrive earlier every year, doesn’t it? But for newlyweds or couples spending their first Christmas together, the earlier you plan things, the less likely you are to have added stress and arguments later on. With two sets of families hoping to have you all to themselves, if you and DH can agree on a plan early, there won’t be any hard feelings later on.
Start by deciding where to spend Christmas. If you’re lucky enough that your families live within driving distance of each other, you’ll probably be able to spend a bit of time with both families on Christmas day. If not… well, here’s where marriage is about compromise! Can you spend Christmas eve (or Stephens’ Day) with one family, and Christmas day with the other? And then swap the next year? For brides (or grooms) whose families live abroad, this may require agreeing to alternate Christmases one year in Ireland, the next year abroad. It’s a tough decision, but it’s only fair!
When traditions collide
Everyone’s families do Christmas in their own way, and it’s incredibly tempting to think that your family’s Christmas traditions are the best. Chances are your DH or H2B thinks the same about his family’s traditions too! So… time for that marriage compromise again!
At the beginning of December, each of you could write out a list of what your family does to make Christmas special. Does your family normally have a real tree, or a fake one? Do you go to Mass? What foods or treats do you make? Start your list by thinking It’s not Christmas without… and go from there.
When you both have your lists, look at the traditions that are very important to you. See what similarities there are you can incorporate those in to your newlywed traditions easily. If there are differences, look at making a few alterations. Maybe your family bakes cookies and treats on Christmas eve, while your husband’s family goes to Mass. Your combined traditions could be baking in the afternoon, and Mass in the evening, followed by the traditional Christmas trip to the pub with friends and family!
Unfortunately, some traditions you might have to make do without. I know I won’t be having my mom’s cinnamon rolls, or my gran’s dinner this year. But I know that on Christmas I’ll still be surrounded by family, and I’ll get to talk to my own family on Skype that afternoon. And as for my family’s traditions, I’ll have them to look forward to next Christmas!
Making New Christmas Traditions
At the end of the day, you’ve married your best friend, and you’ve combined to make your own little family unit. So rather than relying only on your families’ traditions, why not start some new ones of your own? Here are a few suggestions to get you started!
Decorating:
Try to give yourselves a full weekend for Christmassy things. If you’re looking for a real Christmas tree, you could go out to a Christmas tree farm together and cut one yourselves! Or there’s the more traditional routes of buying a tree from a seller, or getting an artificial tree. Once you have your tree up and ready to go, stick on some Christmas music or a traditional Christmas film and decorate to your heart’s content! And when you’re finished making your house happy and festive, light a fire, make some hot chocolate, and have a cuddle in the glow of your beautiful Christmas tree.
Christmas cards:
In this age of email and Facebook, there’s still something lovely about getting a Christmas card in the post. For your first Christmas as a married couple, why not send cards featuring a photo of the two of you on your wedding day? Another tradition is the Christmas letter, usually tucked in to a card, which is a nice way of letting your friends and family around the world know what’s been happening with you this past year. This is especially nice for people who aren’t particularly Internet savvy, like Great Auntie Mary!
Ornaments:
Every year, buy a Christmas ornament that’s special to the two of you. Some shops offer Our First Christmas ornaments, and others will even customise their regular ornaments for you. Each year you can add to your collection, until you have a tree that’s full of special memories.
Have a holiday party:
Now that the two of you have begun your new life together, why not invite some of your friends around for a Christmas party, or even a New Year’s Eve party? You could ask your friends to each bring something to eat and drink, have a gift exchange, or ask everyone to wear Christmas colours, Santa hats or tacky Christmas jumpers! Make sure to let your friends know about your party early though, as peoples’ schedules get pretty packed around the holidays!
Just the two of us
Remember your wedding day, when people were pulling you both in every direction, and you had to take 10 minutes to spend away from everyone else, to take a breather as husband and wife? Christmas is no different. The final and most important Christmas tradition a newly married couple can make is to spend some time alone together. It could be going out for a romantic meal, or having a weekend away at a Christmas market or something as simple as sitting together by a fire, watching Christmas films.
Whatever you do this Christmas, enjoy every moment of it. It will be a holiday you’ll always remember your first Christmas as husband and wife.
From DH and I, to all the newlyweds and brides and grooms-to-be out there… have a very Merry Christmas and a happy and healthy New Year. Nollaig Shona agus Athbhliain faoi Mhaise DhÃbh. Kirsten
