1st scan - Mum has assumed she's coming UPDATE

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BlondieB Posts: 22
Hi all, Hope you're well. I'm stressing out atm. Basically got our 1st scan on Friday which we're sooooo excited about but last week my mum was like it's great I won't have to take time off work! I was like why would you need to do that and she said she wants to be there. I was like no need mum we'll drive straight to yours after and she was like oh no I really want to be there - you and DH see the scan 1st but even if I could pop in at the end!!! Agggggghhhhh - now don't get me wrong I adore my mum and we're so close but just wish she'd asked rather than assumed - I don't want to hurt her for the world but would've loved this to be just for me and DH. This will be the 1st grandchild so can understand all the excitement and delighted that she is so into it and know she'll do anything for me and baby but just don't know what to do. WHat would you guys do? Are you's inviting your mums to scans? I've spoke to DH and he's so good agrees with me it should be our wee moment but wouldn't hurt mum and has said if she wants to come that's fine. Sorry rant over think I'm a bag of nerves to get the scan and know everythings alright aswell! Take care xx
ciaraella Posts: 5323
I think i'd say to her that you want it to be just you and your DH. It's such a special moment and personally i wouldn't want anyone else there, just my feeling on it. If that's how you feel then i think you should say it to her.
BlondieB Posts: 22
Thanks ciaraella I know - i'm just so bad at things like this my mum is soooo soooo good to us and I hate the thought of hurting her. Might get my sis to mention something to her (i'm a chicken I know!) xx
ohsotired Posts: 7071
I didn't see anybody with more than one person with them at any of our scans - the hospitals are so busy now that it's not really a big family event as such! Just explain to her that while you love the fact she wants to be there it's not really policy in the hospitals for more than the father/birth partner to attend? Also practically speaking the rooms are set up for one extra person - i.e. one chair etc!
ciaraella Posts: 5323
ohsotired is right about the rooms, in the coombe anyway there was only really space for one person. You could get your sister on board to keep saying things like 'it's such a special moment for the parents!' It's just the start of putting your foot down really, for me i would have been afraid to say things to people if something didn't suit us but with DD now i find it easier to just be out straight, you have to do what suits you and your family, cause you, your DH and your little baby are a family now! Enjoy the scan whatever happens and best of luck x
lcarrick Posts: 1639
i was told by my hospital only one person was allowed to come with me, the hospitals are crazy busy there just isnt the room, and its your baby, it should just be the two of ye. she can see the picture of the scan after. if you let her go now, she's want to be at every appointment and that will only be the start of things, wait till the baby arrives, same here i had the first grandchild and everything is just so overwhelming, it'll all get on top of you, so i'd have to put my foot down. or just tell her hospital said only one person allowed to go. have fun, its exciting!!!
MrsMommy Posts: 1112
Gosh that wouldn't be for me at all. I do think it's such a special moment for the parents, seeing their baby for the first time. I've never actually heard of Moms being there to be honest. I think you will have to tell her it's just for the two of you.
BlondieB Posts: 22
Thanks girls I think I know in my heart that I want it to be just me and DH. Dian anyone have their mums with them? It sounds like it's not the done thing. I rang the hospital there (half hoping they'd say only 1 person) but they said it's fine if your mum wants to come too!! So can't even use that as an excuse. O:| really don't want the stress of this overshadowing the excitement of the scan. Well I text my sis as she's in work to see what she thinks. Thanks again for the advice xx
TurtleBaby1 Posts: 693
BlondieB check the letter that they sent you for the scan on mine I thought it said only one person was allowed in the scan. Also you could say to your mum that she can come to other visits. i'm going SP in the coombe and at every consultant appointment I have had a little scan, she could go with you to a couple of those?
YoMammaSo Posts: 3256
Can i suggest you tell her you would like just yourselves at this scan and ask her will she come with you for your next scan at the hospital at 20 wks or whatever (if your not planning on finding out the sex) My mother came with me for one of my later scans, it was the one where they check the heart and organs etc and measure brain size etc mam thought it was so cool as she had never even seen one and she has 4 kids. It really was a special moment for her ! I think saying to her your first scan ye want to go alone and she can come to a later one ?