Am I overreacting??

We've Moved!

Our wonderful discussion forums have now moved to Facebook...

Click to join us in our HIGM ("Help I'm Getting Married") group!

mrsm2011 Posts: 6
Hi girls Am nearly 11 wks last wk at ten wks told both our families and asked to keep it quiet until we have our scan however on Monday my husband was congratulated on the news. Almost certain it was one of his parents who spilled the beans. I am so upset over it after specifically asking to keep it quiet for a few weeks and they couldn't even do that. There is a family occasion at the weekend and i have told my husband I'm not going cause at this stage we don't know who knows it's hard enough making excuses for not drinking without knowing eyes and winks going on behind my back!! Am I overreacting we told them in confidence and now it just feels like we could never trust them enough to tell them anything again!!
Bigsurprise Posts: 961
It's a hard call. I do understand why you are annoyed and i know it puts you in a difficult position particularly at the family event but to be honest i think its probably quite hard for parents to keep news like that to themselves as they are so excited. Personally its a reason why we didnt tell anyone until after 12 weeks - it just took unncessary worry such as things like that happening.
ciaraella Posts: 5323
I would be annoyed but if people know then there's nothing you can really do at this stage, i wouldn't stay away from the party or cause a fuss because personally i wouldn't want to have a row overshadow your great news. Imo put it down to experience and say nothing at the party if you don't want to, let them all nudge and wink and just smile and say nothing.
babydust2012 Posts: 4736
I can understand why you would be annoyed but the excitement probably overcame them. We didn't tell anyone till after 12 weeks and realistically if I had my time over I wouldn't tell anyone till as late as possible!!! I think once people know there's nothing you can do and avoiding the family gathering will only send tongues wagging anyway and would be uncomfortable for your hubby if he attends solo. Just embrass the pregnancy now :xxx
black pearl Posts: 3513
i told at 7 weeks as I had a bleed and all turned out to be fine, I can see what your upset though, it is unfair of them to tell, I know they could be excited but it isnt their news to tell its yours. Hopefully they didnt tell too many people, and it will be ok for the family event at the weekend :action32
MeSB Posts: 3785
wollysocks Posts: 1773
I would be annoyed as they were told in confidence and asked to keep it quiet and they didn't. I don't agree that adults are so excited that they can't keep private news to themselves. You say you are almost certain it was them that told- just be careful that you are actually right about that. Also, you don't say who they told- if it was another close family member I would be less upset as maybe that person is probably the person who should have kept their mouth shut. I'd say a lot of us have told a trusted person something we were told in confidence trusting they would keep it quiet. If it was somebody outside family, I would expect my husband to talk to them- not a row but I would want them to know that they were out of line somewhat. I wouldn't make a big deal out of it- because it is a happy occasion and though it seems important now as the pregnancy progresses and you get more and more excited about the imminent arrival, you really will be less concerned about this. And they haven't been too far ahead of yourselves telling the news anyways if you were going to tell after 12 weeks. I understand your irritation but not worth stressing over :wv
im waiting Posts: 2727
I would be peed off too and Id ask DH to approach his parents and ask them who they told and give them a bit of a telling off. Im sure they did it with no badness in mind and were just delighted with your news that they wanted to share but its still not nice. My DH has told people almost as soon as we found out which is so frustrating. I was 10/11 weeks gone at a Wedding at Xmas and people were coming up Congradulating me. I hated that people knew so early but it was done, its just DH all over! My advice would be to go ahead and dont avoid any outings, whats done is done. If people dont ask, then you dont have to tell. Everyones going to be happy for you
BusyDee Posts: 8527
Yeah that would annoy me as something similar happened us, we told hubbie parents at 8 weeks after we had an early scan but told them not to say anything till we told them it was ok to after our 12 week scan. Anyway hubbies aunt and uncle and cousin and his wife were over from england the following week - now we did decide to tell them as we knew we wouldn't see them again for ages but in we walked to meet them and they all jumped up to congradulate us on our good news - FIL had told them, we were kinda raging coz we wanted to tell them (it was a bit petty I suppose but we were so looking forward to telling them ourselves) I had to get hubbie to have a word with his dad to remind him not to tell ANYONE esle and that he understood that it was still a secret!! Next time we will be telling no one till after the 12 week scan.