Anybody's oh work abroad?

We've Moved!

Our wonderful discussion forums have now moved to Facebook...

Click to join us in our HIGM ("Help I'm Getting Married") group!

rubymoon Posts: 756
Dh is going to London after 18 months of no work he has finally had enough. He works in construction and both his brother and uncle are over there already. I'm going to be at home alone with 3 children age 10, 2 and 10 weeks. He intends to come home maybe once every 3/4 weeks for weekend depending on flight costs. I'm a bit nervous of being on my own as he's been here solidly day and night. Just wondering are there many wollies in a similar situation that can offer advice? Thanks
Daisy Row Posts: 3650
Not exact situation but my OH is in the army so every 2yrs or so he heads off for 6 months. It's difficult especially with children, I have one and the key thing is being organised and keeping busy. Do you work? I find the most difficult part is the evenings/night time after LO is in bed. I took up kettlebells so I have an activity in the evenings plus I have the usual housework stuff to get done. I keep in touch with OH through skype and FB chat which is great and given what your hubbie will be doing he'll hopefully be around most evenings to chat and see the kids on skype. Have you siblings or close family/friends around? This will really help you and the kids. It's not easy for any of you but the key thing to remember is you are all going to do this for the good of your family. You will appreciate each other even more.
rubymoon Posts: 756
Thank Daisyrow yes my parents live only a mile away and I see them everyday and they are great to me and kids. I think like yourself the nights may be difficult. I don't work outside of the home but ita a full time job with the toddler and new baby. My eldest is in school but he's a great help to me with the little ones. I guess I'll just have to get used to the new arrangement. Will be hard for dh too as he just adores the kids and he's brilliant with them. I could often just go off and leave him with them no problem but that is going to change. My daughter is a handful she is non stop all go want want want! Great fun but not easy with new baby to mind but sure I'll cope it's not like I've any choice. I hate skype for the fact that I always seem to get cut off but hopefully phonecalls will be enough.
im waiting Posts: 2727
My DH doesnt work abroad, but works away from home and only gets home at weekends. He was away for 5 months of my last pregnancy and then away again when our youngest turned 3 weeks. I absolutely dreaded the thoughts of him working away and being on my own with 3 children especially a young baby but it hasnt been as bad as I thought. Its very hectic and you truely see what a difference a 2nd pair of hands make but you just get on with things and basically make the most of the situation your in. I do have family near by but I am basically on my own. Ive tried to attend my exercise class that I attended before I got pregant but Ive only managed to go 3 times so far because it seems like too much hassle for my parents to mind them for the hour I need them for. Keep yourself busy, plan a few playdates, attend a few playgroups, rope in help where needed. Get out and have a little me time one or two evenings. Have something to look forward to each week such as a trip to the cinema with a friend, a couple of drinks with a friend, a day out with the kids, whatever it might be. It does help alot
Dot Cotton Posts: 1298
Hey there my oh works abroad & pnly gets home twice a month for a weekend. It is hard at the beginning no doubt about it but like the other girls said keep busy & the time will fly by. I truly think it will be worse for oh because he will feel like he is missing out on so much. Once you get into your own routine you will be flying it. Like you i havemy family close by & as im still on ml im over there every day & they are fantastic to take dd whenever i want a break. Id be lost only for them. Whenever i get down about it i think how horrible it would be if we couldnt pay our bills & how being unemployed really dented dh's confidence. Hopefully it wont be forever :)
Mad Mod Posts: 1079
Yes, but we don't have kids. It does get lonely, but you get used to it. Lots of flights available, so if your OH knows what he'll be at for a few months, and books flights home well in advance, it wouldn't be very expensive to come home more often. Quicker to get home from London than some parts of Ireland! It'll work out.
rubymoon Posts: 756
Thanks so much to all who replied. I guess I have been dreading it but we are doing it for the kids and it will work itself out. I suppose I'm not a big fan of change to be honest I've felt sick past few days as he's applied gor the safe pass and got stuff organised. But I'll cope with him being away I'll come back on this thread to look at the advice again x
1