Recently married,build a house right beside in laws (what a mistake!) Husband tells has parents everything, i cant cope with it anymore!! Againgst my wishes then HTB employed a contractor to build our house, having contacts in the trade i wanted to go direct labour and claim VAT back. No what would i know?! i expressed concerns about contractor from very early on, was ignored by htb, again im only a girl what would i know? Few months later, when windows started leaking and project wasnt going the way we wanted i was proved right. To cut a long story short this half assed, incompotent cowboy really gave us the runabout, we had to bring in our own plumbers and joiners or else house would not have been ready for wedding. Letter regarding ££ and what is owed to contractor arrived yest, i was making dinner and husband was reading over it. I turned hob down and went to look at very important, personal, private letter, hubby was nowhere to be found!?! Turns ot he was down showing his mum and dad the letter
Has he always been like this or is it just since you got married?
not sure to be honest, knew he was close to his parents but??? think its got worse!!
Well I dont blame you for being angry. I would be livid if my H2B did that. Have you ever talked to him about it? Perhaps he doesnt realise that what he is doing is upsetting you? He needs to realise that its the 2 of you who need to make decisions relating to your future and finances and it has nothing to do with his parents.
Spoke to him last night, he wouldn't answer me, rolled over and said night. I couldn't sleep properly thinking about it, couldn't believe he wasn't speaking to me!!! the cheek! he leaves before me, didn't give me a kiss, i followed him downstairs and said you forgot to kiss me goodbye, asked him if hes going to treat me the way his mum treats his dad (huffs and doesn't speak for days) told him i was an adult and was entitled to voice my concerns. am bracing myself for round 2 tonight!beginning to think he wants a wife to cook, clean etc and leave all important deecisions up to him and his parents, grrrr!!!
I think you need to move house. Seriously.
[quote="TokenMale":1f1sc2he]I think you need to move house. Seriously.[/quote:1f1sc2he]
I would try to avoid slagging off his parents if possible though, there is no good place for that conversation to go if he is so close to them. Maybe say you appreciate their interest etc etc but you must come first, and you insist on privacy.
you need to move, definitely
But I think what you said to him was very good, it could be that he needs to hear from you that you are an adult and want an adult relationship with him. Put your foot down - if you don;t in ten years time Your inlaws will be deciding what you wear
That is precisely why i refused to have our house built next door to my in laws, im insisting building in a field a mile away from them. God help you, that would drive me nuts!
OK I think moving house is a bit out of reach right now but you need to nip this right now and make it clear that ye are married and are equals!!! Dont let this go on, so what if it takes a few rows and all that. Get it sorted now Girl!! U know u can so go for it!!!