Decision to have children

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missyme1 Posts: 17
Hi Just looking for advice. Just wondering your opinion on having children? Were you worried that you couldn't afford them? We are married a few months and I'm in my early 30s so time is ticking for me. I work over hours drive away and my husband could be working anywhere in the country. I do worry can we afford children? What do we do with living arrangements? It just all seems a big worry. Or am I just overly-worrying about stuff? Just wondering how you came to decision to have children?
Bfp4me2013 Posts: 760
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atina Posts: 2240
I think everyone has these little worries for me it was less for financial reasons but more the change in our lifestyle I worried about! I worried about how our relationship would change and how we were the first married in our group of friends and would it change our relationship with them etc! Then my husbands sister had a baby and we saw how much joy and happiness he brought to our whole family and it sealed the deal for us! We are now excitedly awaiting our own baby next month please god!
mrspiggy Posts: 1289
Missyme - they were all worries we had and now as we embark on ttc#2 they are still there. But we know we will get by.
BusyBee2013 Posts: 117
I think if you think about it too much you'll come to the conclusion that it's never the right time. Having a baby changes your life dramatically, because they come first so you have to adjust around them, but you just do it. Suddenly "important" things in your life aren't so importnant anymore and time you never thought you had just magically appears for them. Don't get me wrong, sometimes it can get really tough, but you just have to remind yourself that as they get older and get more independent, it does get easier. In regards to your commute, we work about 10 miles from home so decided on a creche near work so although we're only in the car, we're still with her, and if she's sick in creche, we're only down the road to reach her.
Fruice Posts: 677
See, I already have joy and happiness, and I don't really feel that the extra a child/children would bring would be worth the exhaustion, financial worries, relationship strain, loss of independence, etc. I just don't see how the pros could outweigh the cons! Children are just so much hard work, and sacrifice. If someone could provide me with 3-4 lovely grown up children I'd like that, I love family and all the happy moments that go with it, but I have zero interest in years 0-25, so I don't think it's for me! If only I could adopt grown ups...
Hbombadero Posts: 1960
We didn't want kids. We were married a while and I gradually came around to it but had reservations about money, work, childcare, lifestyle, my body etc. Then one day a switch just flicked and I realised that I didn't care anymore about anything else and I just wanted a child end of. Honestly, my life felt empty without a child and even things that were/are important to me, like socialising, work, money, holidays etc just paled in to insignificance against the overwhelming desire to have a baby. My friends could not believe that I wanted a baby but here we are, I'm pregnant now and work and money will just have to sort themselves out.
mrspiggy Posts: 1289
[quote="Fruice":gsghj8m5]See, I already have joy and happiness, and I don't really feel that the extra a child/children would bring would be worth the exhaustion, financial worries, relationship strain, loss of independence, etc. I just don't see how the pros could outweigh the cons! Children are just so much hard work, and sacrifice. If someone could provide me with 3-4 lovely grown up children I'd like that, I love family and all the happy moments that go with it, but I have zero interest in years 0-25, so I don't think it's for me! If only I could adopt grown ups...[/quote:gsghj8m5] That's slightly different to the OP as I gather they do want children.
Fruice Posts: 677
[quote="mrspiggy":291z4iag][quote="Fruice":291z4iag]See, I already have joy and happiness, and I don't really feel that the extra a child/children would bring would be worth the exhaustion, financial worries, relationship strain, loss of independence, etc. I just don't see how the pros could outweigh the cons! Children are just so much hard work, and sacrifice. If someone could provide me with 3-4 lovely grown up children I'd like that, I love family and all the happy moments that go with it, but I have zero interest in years 0-25, so I don't think it's for me! If only I could adopt grown ups...[/quote:291z4iag] That's slightly different to the OP as I gather they do want children.[/quote:291z4iag] Didn't realise slightly different views weren't allowed, how silly of me.
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