Getting older

We've Moved!

Our wonderful discussion forums have now moved to Facebook...

Click to join us in our HIGM ("Help I'm Getting Married") group!

Anne Cordelia Shirley Posts: 4731
I was visiting a relative yesterday who's not well. Her daughter is caring for her full time, alongside having three teenage children and a part time job. I don't know how she does it, she's an amazing woman who managed to have homemade cake for us when we arrived. But it is so sad to see her mother so sick. She's physically not great but the worst thing is she's losing her memory. She was asking about people who died, asking why so and so isn't with us and we had to remind her they are up in heaven with her parents and siblings. It was very upsetting. I don't know how I'd cope with minding my parents, this poor woman is doubly incontinent which her daughter finds so hard to deal with. I was changing the baby and she was talking about changing her mother. I just found the day quite sad, and it really got me wondering about when I get older, would I want to be in a nursing home and if I was told I had something like dementia would I want to keep going, knowing I would be losing my memories. I remember this relative being so active and funny and always had stories to entertain us, and now just seems to be existing, it's very hard for her and the family.
ciaraella Posts: 5323
DH's nana's memory is gone very bad, technically i think she's been diagnosed with dementia. Is it hard to see as in the start it was forgetting my name, which is fair enough considering she doesn't know me as long, but when she forgets DH or his siblings it's awful, even worse when it's MIL, her daughter. Thankfully she's physically well but it is hard to think of the inevitable caring that will need to be done for her. My dad always says if he gets bad to bring him to the Cliffs of Moher and he'll jump, he can't entertain the thought of being cared for. I think if it was me i'd rather a professional care for me than family, if it was a case of incontinence etc. Fair play to anyone who does it. My Mam always says she's rather we'd get professionals rather than do it ourselves (finance permitting of course).