My baby is gone...................

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Wild Child Posts: 1694
I was 18 weeks pregnant when I caught a virus it was the monday before Paddy's day and my temps were sky high over 40 so I rang the coombe and they told me to drink loads of water and take paracetemol every 6 hours by wed I was still as sick so I called my doctor out and he said to rest and gave me a perscription for a kidney infection as I had got one through the virus, on thursday I was still sick and so worried about my baby I went to the coombe and they scanned me and told me everything was fine to just go home and rest which I did until saturday when I had a bleed which was my first of the pregnancy so I rushed to A&E in the coombe and after 5 hours they scanned me again and told me everything was fine .....come saturday night i was waking uo with pains in my stomach I had no idea what they were so I rang the coombe and they said to come straight in they seen me straight away and confirmed the baby was totally healthy and kicking away heartbeat was very strong but I was in labour...................... I was just about 19 weeks and they told me there was nothing they could do to stop it and that maybe it would stop itself ....I knew in my heart it was not going to stop and I started to feel numb the pains didnt even seem to hurt as much anymore they got me a private room in st gerards ward and said they would just have to wait we waitied for an hour and my waters broke and I couldnt even cry I was completely numb my baby was going to be born and there was nothing they could do to save him they were not even going to try.... Our beautiful baby Luke was born at 3:05 on Mothers Day and he lived for a whole hour the midwife could not believe it she said she had never seen a baby live so long under the circumstances......our baby was a fighter right from the very start of his short life right to the end......I'm so glad I got to meet him he was everything I had ever wished for he made all my dreams come true he made me a mammy even if it was only for a hour it was the best hour of my life one I wouldnt trade for everything in the whole world....he had his daddy's chin and my eyes and my mam's nose. I never thought something like this would happen to me I have read so many sad stories here and my heart has always gone out to the people that have been through so much pain but I never realised how bad it really does hurt it hurts more than anything in the world I have lost the will to fight to breathe to get up ........I just want my baby back and I know the only thing I want is the only thing I cant have....I coulndt have even began to function if it was not for the amazing support from my Husband and My amazing family and friends....I love my husband so much more now which was something I never thought was possible but its hard to explain but I do. Every day is like waking up to a nightmare cause every day I hope it was all just a bad dream......I dont think I'll ever be able to put myself through another pregnancy I was so happy happier than I had ever been in my whole life and I didnt take one single day for granted I woke up every morning thinking I was the luckest person on the planet and for a whole 19 weeks I was......things like that are not meant to happen at 19 weeks and the answers the doctors gave me was its just one of those things people say time heals everything well I dont think them people have ever had anything bad happen to them! I really do wish every one of you all the luck in the world and I hope nothing like this happens to anyone I hope you all get your beautiful babies for keeps :lvs
lovin motherin Posts: 175
Oh my god Wild child! There is absolutely nothing I can say that will ease what you are going through!! I am in tears here. I hope that you and your DH will get through this very difficult time! Take care.
and baby makes 5 Posts: 356
I am so so sorry for your loss, my heart goes out to you both, and know that your little angel is looking down on you both and will give you strength. God Bless you x
Sybil Fawlty Posts: 1541
I am so sorry to read of your loss. It's heartbreaking. Take care of each other.
contented Posts: 2625
I am so very very sorry for your loss WildChild. I know words mean nothing to you at the moment but everything will be fine.
cheer bear bride Posts: 3731
Replied on TTC to you pet.....thinking of you always *)
zoesmama Posts: 2774
Wild Child - i am so very sorry for the loss of baby Luke. :xox i am in tears here reading this. wishing you all the strength in the world to get through this. :xox
Dairy Queen Posts: 3707
My heart is breaking for you, I can't begin to imagine your pain. I'm sure baby Luke knew how much you wanted and cared for him and that he felt nothing but love for that special hour.
mrs butterfly Posts: 223
wildchild..... i am soooo sorry to hear what has is just awful..... you and your husband and baby Luke are in my thoughts and prayers....god bless you Posts: 229
I'm so sorry to hear you lost baby Luke.Lovely you had that hour with him and he really did sound like a fighter.Thank God for your husband and friends.A lot of love is whats needed now and no, time isn't the great healer everyone claims it to be.The pain of it is just something you get used to living with.Take it day by day though.Its all you can do x
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