Niggly wedding day annoyances-get it off your chest!

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New Wolly
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Re: Niggly wedding day annoyances-get it off your chest!

Postby lola58 » Tue May 02, 2017 12:45 pm

I think this will be very helpful for me!Four weeks after my wedding I am finally mooning about it like it was the best day ever. BUT I spent the first week after my wedding very down and despondent about it - I felt like it wasn't this most magical brilliant day, for a few different reasons. The guilt and anxiety took a few days to settle down - had I wasted all that time money and energy? Now I think it is just bittersweet - it is only one day and so much goes into it and you can feel it slipping away from you on the day. It isn't actually right when you think about it!

Now that more time has elapsed, I feel like it is more of a blur and I do just remember the happy and magical moments - of which there were loads - the highlight for me was the ceremony for sure - it was so personal and lovely, and I thought my heart would burst with love as we said our vows. There are so many special moments from the day and I am so delighted I insisted on a videographer - I know I will really get a sense of what a good day it was when I see that. We have had nothing but brilliant feedback, people were wowed by everything from the style to the venue, to the food, to the drink that we made sure flowed..but I felt like I was at the eye of the storm on the day and couldn't see it with any perspective.

The day itself is so surreal and overwhelming - I was very relaxed in the lead-up but on the day I could feel the nervous tension mounting... lots of little things happened - the necklace I had paid a fortune for broke in my hand that morning, my flowers looked nothing like what I had ordered (lovely but just not what I asked for!), we ran really late getting ready! Then in the greeting line we were standing on grass and my dress was ruined as people gave me bear hugs and nearly toppled me!! I kept feeling my veil getting yanked and could have cried as I looked down to see the grass stains and footprints on the pristine white gown. In fairness, the photos were painless and even really enjoyable - but I had serious FOMO as I felt I was missing the drinks ceremony - this was stupid as most brides miss all if not most of it - but I was rushing to get back to the crowd..then the wedding coordinator asked us did we want to see the room before everyone went in for the meal and we said yes - this took up the few minutes we did have for the drinks however, and I wish I had just said no - to add insult to injury, my cake was nothing like what I had ordered - I was baffled seeing it to be honest! Certainly not something that would ruin the day, but I was unimpressed, as anyone would be if they'd paid 500 euro for something they didn't want!This all meant I got very few casual photos with friends or family friends, photos I would have loved.

The speeches were amazing and I had a couple of glasses of wine to get through mine, which was emotional, but then I think I was pretty tipsy - The groomsmen didn't come out for the first dance (idiots) and my parents had gone back to their room to change so they missed it. The biggest annoyance was that the band started off very gently, with mid tempo and slow songs - as the photographer and videographer were only there for the first 45 mins of dancing I was so disappointed at the lack of people on the dancefloor and ended up getting upset - combination of anger and alcohol. My groom, my dad and my bridesmaid couldn't calm me down. I think something just had to give at that point!

Are these all standard bridal quibbles? As I said, I am out the other side now, and these things aren't getting me down anymore, but I felt sick to my stomach about them for the few days after the wedding, and when people asked was it the best day ever, I was honest and said well actually lots of things went wrong and I found the whole day really overwhelming... people were shocked but I think I am just one of the few brides to be honest..but now they seem quite superficial when I write them down. I never thought I would be the stresshead bride! I'd have been better off stressing in the lead-up maybe and then finally relaxing on the day!

The important things went perfectly and I have the best husband a girl could ask for so please don't get me wrong, it was worth it to marry the love of my life!
Your thoughts please xoxo

Major Wolly
Posts: 574

Re: Niggly wedding day annoyances-get it off your chest!

Postby CasualBride » Thu May 04, 2017 9:23 am

Hi lola58!

Seeing as you finished up by asking for thoughts, I said I'd jump in even though I've already posted here!! :)

I was very like you in that I felt really weird and negative about it all in the immediate aftermath. I agree 100% with you that it's mental to put so much time, energy and money into 1 day, thankfully I felt that way all along, so I didn't ever get too carried away, but even though I was level-headed, it still takes over your life and your finances, so no matter how down-to-earth we want to be about it, it's still a gigantic investment for one day.

I was quite anxious and actually, to be honest, I was really pissed off with my husband & my in-laws the morning of my wedding (family drama that carried up right to the morning) so my grand entrance was totally ruined by the fact that I was literally standing there feeling completely undermined and disappointed by them - so many people commented afterwards "oh you looked really nervous" and I suppose I was, but it was more that I was raging to be honest, so that really stood out as being a massive memory of the day for me. Things improved after that, so I got over it and thankfully, there wasn't any blunders or disasters like some other poor brides have with hotels or food or anything like that, but at the end of the night, my DJ was absolutely crap, I was actually fuming about that - I had deliberately chosen him rather than going with the band's DJ, because I like this guy's music in my local pub, but he obviously didn't have a clue how to adapt his style for a wedding, he kept stopping and starting between each song, I was livid and it was all I could think about for a few days afterwards - I felt like everyone was as disgusted as me; I presume now, in hindsight, that they weren't, but I was so mad and it took a good few weeks for that negative feeling to wear off me. Watching the DVD helped a lot cos even though I have a face like thunder at the start of it, it does just look like I'm really nervous and now I'm able to ignore it and watching the rest of the DVD shows how much fun the rest of the day actually was, which is a great help!


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