notes on resurrection......

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fantac Posts: 4109
have just read an excerpt from this book in a copy of the guardian from late september. its about a little boy called joe with severe cerebal palsy does everyone worry that their baby will be ok? i'm sitting here with tears streaming down my face and thinking of all the little fantasies i make up about the places we'll go and teh things we'll see with our child and how those dreams will be shattered if something goes wrong :o( edited to say - sorry for being dismal, ignore me, i think its time for tea and toast!
Hopefully07 Posts: 2027
Constantly and I think it’s half the fact why I won’t tell people I am pregnant….. When I see a special needs child I nearly have to turn the other way (sorry I hate saying that ) as it hurts soooo much to think about it. I asked the doctor to do an anomaly scan on me but he said he wouldn’t as 1) you are not allowed terminate the pregnancy if there is something (not that I would) and 2) said it’s a worrying time enough instead of having to go through the rest of you’re pregnancy knowing……. When I was diagnosed with Cancer I though my world would end but look it didn’t and I AM pregnant and whatever God sees for me I just have to accept and get on with it! Please God my baby will be nice and healthy and strong and perfect :lvs
notlongtogo Posts: 5040
Yeah i do worry about it sometimes. A friend of mine just had her third baby and he has Downs Syndrome. It was a complete shock, he has a club foot also which she was told comes hand in hand with but it wasnt detected. I watch hospital programmes on TV and even DH said to me you are actually lucky to have a healthy child there are so many things that can go wrong. At the end of the day though worrying wont change things, but i do think you must go through a period of grieving if it does happen as all your little dreams and fantasies change.
LilyBlue Posts: 279
Hopefully07, just want to say congratulations & fair play to you, I hope it all goes well! My Dad had cancer when he was 35 before I was born (I am the youngest of six) and he is still live & kicking at 60 - he always says he asked for me! I was worth waiting for :o0 :o0 :o0
shelly21 Posts: 49
Hi, I remember reading this story years ago. It's written from a mothers perspective.... "I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this...... When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting. After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland.""Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy." But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place. So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts. But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned." And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant l oss.But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland." c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved.
Blackbird Posts: 5135
I think every parent to be worries that their child won't be born healthy, it's only natural. I'm too early in my pg to start thinking about it but it will be on my mind. I think it would be an enormous shock to find out that your child had a health problem or a disability but you would have no choice but to come to terms with it, figure out how to move on and then just get on with it and find a way to cope. I think with something like Downs Syndrome, at least we've heard of it and we know what it is. I'm not saying it wouldn't be difficult, of course it would and you would have so many unanswered questions and fears for your child but it would be so hard if it was a condition/disability you'd never heard of and didn't know what lay ahead for your child.
fantac Posts: 4109
[quote="shelly21":109ia28v]Hi, I remember reading this story years ago. It's written from a mothers perspective.... "I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this...... When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting. After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland.""Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy." But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place. So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts. But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned." And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant l oss.But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland." c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved.[/quote:109ia28v] that is lovely!
babyboom Posts: 294
hi girls I worry alot about this like the poem says you can't help but imagine & day dream about the things you'll do & places you go. All you can do is hope for the best. In anycase I'm already head over heels in love with the baby so we'll cross whatever bridges should we need to - it's scary all the same. When people say would you like a girl or boy genuienly all I want is a healthy baby. I think there's endless worry involved with becoming a mother.
LilyBlue Posts: 279
What a wonderful perspective! x
LilyBlue Posts: 279
[quote="babyboom":3pr5nfg8]hi girls I worry alot about this like the poem says you can't help but imagine & day dream about the things you'll do & places you go. All you can do is hope for the best. In anycase I'm already head over heels in love with the baby so we'll cross whatever bridges should we need to - it's scary all the same. When people say would you like a girl or boy genuienly all I want is a healthy baby. I think there's endless worry involved with becoming a mother.[/quote:3pr5nfg8] I completely agree with everything you said!
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