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Pregnant and scared !!

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sentosa34 Posts: 3
Hi all new to this but years ago used to read the forums... My story is...ive been in many long term relationships and was trying for a baby in each one... nothing ever happened.. really thought I couldn't have kids.. single a few monthsnow having fun. Went on a few dates with a guy and now I'm pregnant!! I'm 38.. really didn't want to have a baby on my own as I didn't hear from the guy after 3rd date.. had an abortion booked and all.. totally stressed didn't think I'd be able to raise a baby on my own I've no family around me. Anyway told the baby daddy I was pregnant as I felt he had a right to know before my abortion. He floored me.. he wants to start a relationship and be there for me.. I'm so scared.. like I don't even know him well.. I do like him.. he did say he would support me either way if I wanted it or not. Chatted to a few friends like I'm financially ok...it was just the support of a partner I felt I couldn't have it on my own. Anyway long story short and a lot of thinking I do really want this baby and give it a go with him.. even if the relationship doesn't work out he said he would still be there for the baby.. I just hope all what he says is true.. I don't think any guy would bullshit about something so serious..would they ??
CasualBride Posts: 574
Hi sentosa34 Congratulations! A few years ago, friend of a friend found herself in a similar situation to you and things have worked out brilliantly for them - they're happily married now with a second child. They were around the same age as you are when they conceived their first child - I have to say, they weren't complete strangers, they had hooked up a handful of times before she realised she was pregnant, but they weren't anywhere near "in a relationship" and had no intention of starting one, but they gave it a go and it couldn't have worked out better for them, they are a great couple! I hope / think that age has a big part to play in the reaction of your potential partner here - my own husband fathered a child after a one-night-stand 10 years ago when he was in his mid-twenties and the mother was in her early twenties. She asked him if she should get an abortion and he said no, that he would be there for her and the child; I think she took a very different meaning from that sentence than he intended, and she is still extremely bitter towards him for not being in a relationship with her and even though he used to see his child every second weekend and more (they don't live in the same county as him, so it's always been difficult to have more access), the past few years have seen a lot of changes as the child's mother has gotten even more and more bitter since we got engaged and married. However, he has always tried his best to see his child and while he's not the best father in the world, he's constantly telling his child how much he loves her and wants to see her etc, and he always pays maintenance. So they're the 2 sides that I've witnessed to an unexpected pregnancy ... after that, I'm afraid the only advice I'd have is that it's really up to you to make this decision because even if he does want to have a relationship with you, it might not work out between you and you may be a single mother no matter what; that can happen to anyone, married or single - we just don't know what's around the corner, so the bottom line is, do YOU want a baby, regardless of your circumstances. Best of luck with it all!!
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