Who is comparing you or them?
There is only one piece of advise im gonna say to you & that is
Who cares what they think. Dont be thinking about it yourself.
If people are saying these things to you im sure that dont expect you to follow in your bro's footsteps.... they are probably only saying it in passing in the same way as i would. I dont necessarly mean it - its something to say if you know what i mean?
Its a natural progression buy house / get engaged / get married / have kids (sometimes in a different order) but anyway I would give a flyin f*ck what other ppl thought.
My h2b's brother and his wife and us seem to do everything in or around the same time as each other.
They bought an apartment, we bought an apartmnet, they bought a house, we bought a house, they got a dog, we got a dog, they got married we're getting married.......but that's life!
They are a couple of years older than us so it must always seem that we are following in their footsteps.
We actually sit down and laugh about it cos often it's really small little things that we end up doing at the same time also, we seem to have very similar taste and have often found out that we have bought the same stuff as each other when we visit.
When you think about it, it's virtually impossible for this not to happen if you and your brother are close in age.
As my Mum always says, don't be worrying what other people think, you live your life the you want to and let everyone else worry about their own lives!
I am in a very similar situation, anon.
Yep I feel ya... I have a brother who's about 8 years older than me and when I got engaged him and his missus ran out 3 weeks later and got engaged this surprised all of us as the two of them had spent a night out celebrating our engagement telling anyone who'd listen they were not going to get married wanted to concentrate on careers etc.. I wasn't at all bothered by it and just thought whatever but then she booked her wedding two days after the original date we had provisionally booked... then I was furious.. anyway our dates eventually changed and after her wedding I was talking to her about kids etc and again was given the whole never gonna happen routine I told her that me and my hubby wanted to start asap cos I wanted to be a young mum and what does she do but turn up at my wedding and announce she's preggers telling everyone there that no doubt me and hubby will be following in her footsteps as we have all along!!!!
Apart from that my cousin who's the same age as me has pitted herself against me from day one of her getting engaged and despite me telling her if she needs any help arranging her own wedding to just ask me she spent the entire day (missed the speeches) talking to the staff at our hotel and asking them the details of all my suppliers, then hotel didn't know half of them but commented on it to hubby the following day now she's not talking to me and telling my extended family how her wedding is going to be bigger and better than mine and how her hubbie has given her 60k o spend on it to make sure it blows mine out of the water.... ppl are just bizarre honey so do what I do have a little rant on here get it off your chest then just ignore it you have your life and you're sharing your life pattern of house engagement weddings pets kids with about a billion other ppl so don't stress about it ... hth
Are other people saying this to you? I think it's just a natural thing that comes with age. It's not like they invented getting engaged, getting married, buying property or having children! I think it's normal for friends and family around the same age or stage in life to be doing the same things. There's a big group of us who are friends and we're all getting married and buying houses, it's just life. don't think too much about it. Do whatever you want without worrying what other people are thinking!
I'm pming you!
myself and h2b have 6 very close friends (3 couples) who have all gotten houses in the last few years and each of us have gotten married one every year and now 2 of them are trying for a baby, its just that we are all the same age and at the same place in our lifes none of us are copying off the other
[quote="Moo 2":31754g6b]Oh for goodness sake will you go and get pregnant if you and your husband want to get pregnant.
And if these people decide to buy a 2007 car and lo and behold you want a 2007 car then you go and get a car.
And if these people decide to redecorate their house and you feel like the house needs a decoration then decorate it.
The gist of it is 'Do what feels right for you' Why are you even listening to these people?"
In what way are you being compared? Are they telling you that you should be getting married now that "jo and pat" are?
Maybe it might be yourself who is conscious of the fact that your life seems to follow the progression of their lives? Dont shoot me. And for once you would like to do something that is uniquely yours for a change? If thats the case I wouldnt blame you. Everything you do, they got their first.
Life has a progression you are right. But its not to be worried and fretted about if your progression follows somebody elses. Just praise the powers that be that neither of your lives are going in the directions of disaster and heartache.[/quote:31754g6b]
Best post I have ever read on this forum
stop worrying about others and live your life without regrets - if someone compares you guys then smile and say back to them that you never really noticed but as they did notice it they can take it that "copying them" is the best compliment they can take from you. Yeah like i got married because x did and then got a house because y did - how crazy is that?
I have awful inlaws who do this and really it gets old quickly, I just smile agree and say i am so blessed with how my life cholices have panned out - and it seems to puzzle them and they feck off for another while...its my little defence to stop me ending up doing this...