what do yis think of this?

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pinky_winky Posts: 527
Right im a bit of a scardey cat but i have a bit of a bridesmaid problem and its getting worse the night after i got engaged myself and H2B were out a party with my friend and her husband i was locked and said she could be my bridesmaid. now were good friends but i wasnt her bridesmaid and i already have 2 sisters and a grown up niece so anyway i stuck by my drunken disaster and she is still bridesmaid it will be like a pikey weddin with the 4 of em anyway i digress, She has taken it upon herself to organise the hen party which is grand but she has gone a bit mad with it really, i said i just wanted a night out in dublin nothing involving embarrassin L plates or the likes anyway i was down in her house the other night and she said she had ordered us all tshirts and her one said Chief bridesmaid !! I didnt know what to say cos i decided not to have one because it would only cause problems , what am i going to do? Its not only that i know shes only trying to help but sometimes it feels like she is trying to take over the whole thing, I have my florist booked but her mam used to be a florist and she keeps talking about the flowers like her mam is doing them. I also wanted all the bridesmaids to wear their hais in a nice simple up style but a few weeks ago she had her hair cut really short she asked me did i mind i said it was her hair and she could do wat she wanted to. anyway she rings me this morning sayin she is getting it cut shorter again and did i mind? dont know what to do about all this really feel snowed under
Easy Tiger Posts: 2676
Well on her part I think it was a bit cheeky to have her tee-shirt saying chief bridesmaid. I'd have a word with her and make it clear that no-one is chief bridsmaid and that you don't want any of the other bridemaids to feel put out by the tee-shirts. However when it comes to the hair I dont think you have any say in whether she can get her hair cut short or not. Plus she is asking you beforehand. Do you want all 4 bridesmaids to look identical???
Elliecat Posts: 2725
OK, firstly don't worry about having fours bm's, two of my sisters' had four and noone batted an eyelid! I think you need to sort out the 'Chief' problem first. I don't think there is any way around this other than saying it straight to her. I assume one of your sisters will be chief, and its a bit dense of her to assume otherwise unless you specifically said it to her. Bite the bullet and next time it comes up say it out. Her hair - absolutely nothing you can do about this and you really shouldn't worry about it anyway. My two bridesmaids wore their hair completely differently and it was lovely. Its one of thsoe things that you can't control sso don't let it annoy you. As for the hen and flowers - I think whoever you have chosen as your chief bm should contact her to find out what arrangements she has made for the hen and make sure its going to be the kind of hen you will enjoy - tell her not to take any crap from her and not involve you at all in any arguments, just to get on with things. This is your day and you should do exactly what you want. The next time she says anything about flowers just say you've just met with your florist (mention her by name) and you're so happy with what you've discussed and that your delighted that you went with her. If she doesn't get the message after that then she's clearly a nutter!! Good luck with it all - try not to let her spoil your fun!
pinky_winky Posts: 527
thanks for the advice girls with the hair thing i know i cant really do anything about that and im definitely not a bridezilla who wants everything perfect i think im just really feeling a bit backed into a corner. ellie cat thats a good idea about the florist. thanks
survivor Posts: 2507
I agree with the other 2 posters on the Chief thing. You have to have a word with her about it. She sounds like she'd get happily carried away if you don't put a halt to it now. You're stuck with the hair though. I don't think its right to dictate the way anyone should have their hair.
pinky_winky Posts: 527
ah yeah i know the hair thing is a bit mad. And your right she is inclined to get a bit carried away with stuff, shes a natural born organiser if you know what i mean
Mama Dora Posts: 14987
Talk to her! She is probably not thinking she is annoying you...sort it out before it gets any worse