Image courtesy of Johannes Photography
The wedding’s over, your guests have gone home. It must be time for… drumroll please… thank you notes! Okay, so maybe the day after your wedding isn’t the ideal time to start writing your thank you notes, especially if you’re soon to be off on honeymoon. But when you’re back from your wonderful honeymoon, we’ve got you covered with everything you need to know about saying thank you.
When do I send my thank you cards?
Old etiquette gave couples a year to send their thank you cards, but in today’s world, where we can text, email, phone or Facebook nearly everyone we know, there really isn’t any excuse to take so long. Today’s etiquette gives you three months.
How do I say thank you?
Despite all our modern technology, the proper way to say thank you is still with traditional, handwritten cards. As for what you should say in your card, we’ve come up with The Cheat’s Guide to Writing Thank You Cards!
The Cheat’s Guide to Writing Thank You Cards
Dear (Aunt Mary / Granny / Sarah, etc),
Opening: Thank you so much for (your generous gift / the lovely present / filming/photographing our wedding day, etc).
Choose one of the following options
For cash/cheques:We are saving up money to buy <item> OR We put it towards <item> that we had been planning to buy. Your generosity helped us to get closer to our dream!
For gifts (option A): We (opened/used/tried) the <item> recently and we (really like it/enjoyed it/were surprised by it) because (insert reason here).
For gifts (option B): We have always wanted a <item> and we’re so (excited/happy/surprised) that you (were able to find it/knew what to look for/were thinking of us).
For kind gestures: It was a really (nice/gracious/generous) gesture and (it is much appreciated/you shouldn’t have/it really meant a great deal).
Personal Touch: We were so happy you were able to be with us to celebrate our special day. It meant the world to us to have you there. OR We were sorry you weren’t able to be with us on our special day, but we know you were there in spirit, and it was so kind of you to think of us.
Finish by thanking again, and include a message about the future: General statement to reinforce “thank you” message (e.g. Thanks again) and general statement to conclude the letter (e.g. wish them well/hope to see them soon/enjoying seeing them/must return the favour/keep in touch).
Love,
Bride and Groom
Who do I need to thank?
- People who have given you gifts, whether it’s for your engagement or your wedding. If people have contributed to a group gift (maybe your co-workers?), each person should get his or her own thank you note.
- People who have given you cash, cheques, or a donation to charity. Do not mention the amount they gave instead, thank them for their generous gift, and suggest how you plan to spend the money (a deposit for a house, new home furnishings, etc)
- Bridesmaids and groomsmen. Include a thank you note with their bridal party gift to thank them for the time and dedication they put in to making your day special for you both.
- Your parents. Even if you’ve paid for the wedding yourselves, it’s still nice to thank them for their help and support during the planning process. As with your bridesmaids and groomsmen, a thoughtful gift is also nice to give both sets of parents.
- Your wedding suppliers and vendors. They may be just doing their job, but it’s always nice to receive a simple note to thank them for their hard work in making your day go smoothly!
Some final tips and tricks for thank you card writing!
- Write out a list of all your gifts as you get them, including who gave them to you. Even if you receive your first gift 6 months before the wedding, start the list you’ll be glad of it when the wedding is over!
- If you DO receive a gift 6 months before the wedding hey, some people are super-organised! be sure to make a quick phone call or send an email to thank the sender, but also send them a handwritten thank you card after the wedding.
- Not sure how to thank someone for a truly awful wedding gift, like a singing fish or some other horrific knick-knack? Try to put a positive spin on it. Is there a personal story behind it? Is it practical (even in some obscure way)? Maybe it will forever remind you of the person? Be gracious and thankful, but try not to overdo it!
- Even if your handwriting is terrible, the personal touch of a handwritten card is so much nicer than a pre-printed or typewritten one.
- Get your new husband to share some of the thank you card writing duties! After all, they’re his friends and family too!
