Arrangements for Top Table

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kkb2b Posts: 166
Hi All I am not getting married for a few months yet - but i have a bit of a worry - nothing off the wall or anything - My mum passed away a few years ago so the seating at the top table is throwing me off a bit - should i just go with normal seating arrangements? i dont want my dad to feel left out or lonely on the day.... also what should i do when it comes to giving flowers to the grooms mother - do you think i should get something for my dad??
phananta Posts: 330
H2B's Mum died a few years ago. When it comes to top table, FFIL has already said his 'lady friend' will be on it, so that's that. But when it comes to giving flowers, we're just not going to do this at the top table in front of everyone. I will just give my mum something in private, because I think it will highlight the fact H2B's mother is missing if I give me mum something during the speeches
michers_eire Posts: 77
There're a few options here... My dad died a number of years ago so my eldest brother sat beside my mam. We didn't get the mams and dads to switch in the traditional way- this made my mam much more comfortable having my brother there rather than DH's dad. I've also seen where there was no top table as such. Two round tables were made up of all the wedding party on the same level as the guests. So, no one knew who was missing IYKWIM. What ever you decide on I know that your dad's happiness will be paramount. It is such an emotional day for parents and it might make his day a little easier. With regard to the flowers etc.We skipped this stage. IMO it's a waste because the flowers have to be looked after in the hotel and more often than not are forgotten about the next day. We bought two oak trees and told our families that we'll be planting them in our new garden when we build. HTH and best of luck with the preparations. :wv
Daff Posts: 11644
HI kkb2b I'm in the same position as yourself, and much to the annoyance of FMIL i've decided on a round top table... also suits the room better! Haven't really decided who sits besdie who, but there'll be 10 on it and that's how many are in the bridal party. Regarding the flowers i defintately won't be presenting them at the meal, i'll give FMIL something in private, and the Dad's... it would just make me feel how unfair it is that my Mum was missing out on it in front of everyone, as i know she'd have done anything to be there (again I know FMIL won't like this, but she won't find out unitl there's nothing there for her at the meal :o0 )
kkb2b Posts: 166
Hi there Yes i was thinking along the lines of a horse shoe style top table - but i dont want to highlight the fact that my mother wont be there either - as i know its going to be upsetting enough for my family on the day....dread the thoughts of it to be honest!! I have decided to the same - and not hand out flowers etc, thanks a million for your help guys!! O-O
chaos Posts: 1904
im the same, dad died a few years ago but im going to have the priest who is family friend sit beside my mam. Wont be presenting flowers either, think they're a waste so will get each mam something sentimental to the day and give to them the night before