Anne Cordelia Shirley
Copied from elsewhere, inspired by the Michael O'Leary comments. What fines would you impose for the stupid things people do? I know they already exist, but I'd fine people who don't pick up after their dogs. Do they think the poo magically disappears after they've moved on or what?
I'd also fine people who try to queue jump, especially those little old ladies who wouldn't hurt a fly but are deamons with the auld elbows who feign ignorance when called on their lack of queue etiquette.
Spitting - i'd make them clean it up with their tongues.
Mobile fine shouting in public, so bloody rude.
Parking in disabled bays, i'd slash their tyres!
dilin o damhsa
A fine (charge) for people who don't say thank you when you hold the door open for them.
A fine for people who avoid eye contact with sick/elderly/pregnant on the bus so they don't have to give up their seat.
Smoking in any public place including streets/beaches/parks/remote mountain tops ....
Throwing cigarette butts out the car window.
Wearing leggings and short tops
I'd fine people who park on the footpath so there isn't room for a buggy to pass. My currant bugbear!
Text-speak.. God (or someone) help the children.. They'll forget how to spell even before they've learned..
Can't abide it..
I'd fine people who update their Facebook status with random crap looking for attention ~ "Sum ppl are so fake" "wish sum ppl wud (insert some random statement).
Also would give out fines for a lack of basic manners!!
Parking in wheelchair spot with no badge
Using roundabouts wrong - they are simple to use yet so many people haven't a clue
Lack of basic manners - please, thank you, replying to texts/ emails etc
Rude salespeople in shops
People that check in "in bed" "on the couch" "at home"
Driving below 60mph between 8-9am & 5-6pm on weekdays. An alarm will be fitted that will blare if speed dips below this. Enya will come howling through the speakers at top tonsil. The pilot has proven effective. The problem will be ensuring people will slow down if my proposed bill for mandatory 20mph on sundays is passed.
Being caught listening to Cold Play or Snow Patrol. Spot checks will apply here obviously. Penalties will include 10 listens from an approved list of tracks and attendance at one gig chosen by the local committee for ridding the world of bland sh*te that tries to pass itself off as music.
DIY denim shorts worn with black tights. There's only one Daisy Duke and even she had the gumption not to team them with tights. A full body hijab to be worn for a month.
Voting for Dana, Fine Gael, Fianna Fail, Sinn Fein, or Labour and/or reading the Daily Mail: full lobotomy.
Arguing with Catholics on-line using the Ladybird book of interrogation styles and a two-year old's guide to philosophy. A few rounds of electroconvulsive therapy. To start with anyway.