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happilyeverafter Posts: 299
if 20 views and no one can reply - no point keeping it up ere
notlongtogo Posts: 5040
What was it, i usually find the views are from people who dont post in P&B and therefore dont reply to posts here. Put it up again and we will help. :thnk
newyearbabs Posts: 686
Ah put it back up as NLTG said most view are prob from people not reg. or that don't post. Hopefully we can help
happilyeverafter Posts: 299
Ok thanks for that girls. My sister had a miscarriage two weeks ago she was 11 weeks gone. She is taking it very bad which is understandable but i'm gettin very worried about her. She cant stop crying - has random break downs every day - fine one moment - uncontrollable cryin the next. im trying to be there for her but i dont know what to say or do. Im terrified that ill say the wrong thing. Is it normal for the pain to be still so raw for her now??? Sorry if that sounds like a silly question but i dont know. Im tryin to encourage her to do things to get her out of house as shes gettin into a rut of not gettin up any morning til 12. I know that probably doesnt sound too bad but shes the type to get up every morning at 6am and do her jobs around the house, go for her walk etc. Any advise is welcome
Mrs March Posts: 175
Hi there, V sorry to hear about your sister. 2 weeks is a very short time. The fact that she's breaking down and staying in bed - they're signs she's depressed but I would just try to be there for her during this period. I don't know what a so called 'normal' period of grieving would be, but it's probably different for everyone. But 2 weeks - it's still very very recent.
Sphynx Posts: 6795
Hi there, I still cry on a regular basis about my miscarriage last year - I don't think you can really understand unless you've had one yourself - it is a loss like any other and you need to grieve as you would for any other loss. She hasn't just lost a tiny baby, she's lost all the hopes and dreams she had for that child too and it's heartbreaking. I don't think you should worry about trying to find the right thing to say - I think the best thing is to let her know you're there to listen to her if she wants to talk but I'd say the last thing she needs to hear is people trying to comfort her by sayinging things like "it wasn't meant to be" and "sure you're young, you can try again" or "this is just nature" etc... I'm not assuming you would say this but I had all of this and much worse said to me by well meaning friends and family. The people who said nothing but were just there to listen gave me much greater comfort. It's also important not to just pretend like it never happened. It does sound like your sister could be depressed also - maybe you could suggest she go to her GP or have one or two counselling sessions just to talk things through? Also, why don't you suggest she come on here and look at the Lost Angels forum which is specially for people who have had a miscarriage - you need to be a member and sign in to view the posts but everyone is v. supportive there and I can honestly say I don't know how I would have gotten through my miscarriage without my WOL pals. hope some of this might help.
Elliecat Posts: 2725
I'm really sorry to hear that. I haven't gone through a miscarriage myself, but being pregnant at the minute I can only imagine that it would take me an awful lot longer than two weeks to get over it if anything happened to the baby. I think you are doing everything you can for her by being there and listening when she needs you to. Don't try to jolly her out of it too much, she needs time to grieve for her baby. If it goes on a lot longer, maybe try to get her to go to see her gp, she might need some help to get overit. Have you done any research about greif counselling in your area - if you were able to put her in touch with someone it might help.
Blackbird Posts: 5135
I think Sphynx hit the nail on the head when she said it's not just a baby you lose but all your hopes for that baby. All you've been dreaming about since the second you found out you were pregnant, it's all gone. When you find out you're pregnant you tell yourself not to get carried away but you can't help it. You picture telling people, loving your bump, talking to your baby and finally seeing your baby. I'm still heartbroken over it and mine was over three months ago and much earlier than 11 weeks. It might be advisable for your sister to talk to someone. What about the misscarriage association or online forums like this?
notlongtogo Posts: 5040
Thank God i havent suffered a miscarriage so i cant really give advise, but the girls have given some great advice. I dont know if this makes a difference but i can imagine at 11 weeks she thought she was just getting to the "safe" time so it must have been a terrible tragedy. It does sound like she could do with some help.
Hopefully07 Posts: 2027
I'm nearly a year on from my M/C and I STILL have my bad days I just can't help it, it's only two weeks so she is STILL terrible upset, just try and be there for her and listen if she wants to talk if not then just let her know they you ARE there anytime for her. My thoughts are with her at this dreadful time, God it's SOOO horrible. :o(