Is 4yrs old too old?

We've Moved!

Our wonderful discussion forums have now moved to Facebook...

Click to join us in our HIGM ("Help I'm Getting Married") group!

Time For A Change Posts: 6885
I know this should be over in the Mums & Kids section, but I want to get other peoples opinions on this - and there's more traffic here too. My SIL is always going on about how intelligent her daughter is, no problem there as I'm sure most parents do that too, but this bit is worrying (maybe that's a bit too strong a word but you get the idea) My niece will be 4 in the middle of Feb, she goes to playschool BUT her Mum still puts a nappy on her at night!! Surely a 4yr old would be toilet trained by this time? I know each child is differnent, but 4yrs old!!! :ooh Her Mum told me yesterday that when the weather gets better, she's going to try and get her out of nighttime nappies, but the child has no interest whatsoever in changing. I know you can't push a child, even her cousin who is a few months younger than her, (quite innocently) actually called her a baby a few months back when she saw me changing her nappy - she was still in daytime nappies then! She said "Only babies wear nappies, why do you still wear them, I'm a big girl coz I don't wear them anymore!" The nieces answer was "I AM a big girl, my Mummy says so and I like wearing nappies!" :o0 :o0 Do you think that 4yrs old is too old to be wearing nappies - whether they're for daytime or nighttime? Just curious
prettylady Posts: 578
I dont have any children but I have worked with them. to be honest I think its perfectly normal for a 4 year to to wear a nappy at night. many children take longer to stay dry at night than others and most will grow out of it eventually.
Time For A Change Posts: 6885
Thanks for that Prettylady. I know you shouldn't, but all too often we can compare kids achievements to others - or is mostly just my sister and sil that do it!? :o0 I think I was just curious because even though I've worked with kids years ago, I can't remember coming across a 4yr old still in nappies. Isn't there some stipulation with some montessoris/playschools that the children have to be out of nappies and toilet trained by a certain age? Not 100% sure about that, so feel free to correct me
ReginaFalange Posts: 10290
I dont think that it is the "norm" - (dont want to accuse a child of not being normal :o0 ) for a 4 year old child to still wear a nappy all the time. Children should be potty trained from around 2 years old. I would think though that this reflects more so on the mother and father as ultimately it is their responsibilitly to potty train her. Unless there is some medical reason I think that 4 is too old to still wear a nappy
ScarlettoHara Posts: 8442
This is an issue that I can relate to. My eldest son is 7 now but he was in full time nappies until he was 3. I tried many times to toilet train him but it never really worked. I used to get so upset and stressed out over it. Didnt help that his cousin who was 6 months younger than him was toilet trained at just 2 and a half. Every day people used to comment and remark about it. The simple fact of the matter was the child wasnt ready. Eventually when he was just over 3 I said to him one day "your not getting a nappy anymore" and he said "ok". That was it, no accidents nothing. Because he was ready. I have seen so many of my friends battling with this nappy business and its not worth killing your self over it. Every child is different they will do it when they are ready. I do think people can get too hung up on a child HAVING to be trained by a certain age and feeling like a failure if they are not. As for the night time nappies he wore these until he was about 4. What I used to do was put the nappy on him when he was asleep and it was wet by morning so I knew he was wetting during the night and not just because he knew he had a nappy on. As I said he is 7 now and I do notice even now that he seems to drink and go to the toilet a lot more than his cousins/friends. But sure Im the same DH slags me for the amount of times I go to the toilet :o0 I dont think not being toilet trained by a certain age has had any lasting effect on him either :o0
prettylady Posts: 578
well assuming the child is potty trained during the day, that wots u said. nighttime is a different issue, she is only 4 after all. some children get dryer at night quicker than others, I wouldnt think its odd at all, thats jus my own personal opion now.
brightling Posts: 1496
I wouldn't be too worried about nighttime nappies at 4, daytime would be completely different! I had DD1 toilet trained at about 2 and 8 months but kept her nappies for bed for another year or so. It got to the stage where they were always dry in the morning and then it was no more nappies at all.
StupidSexyFlanders Posts: 8402
[quote="Columbo30":2vi68iab]I would think though that this reflects more so on the mother and father as ultimately it is their responsibilitly to potty train her. Unless there is some medical reason I think that 4 is too old to still wear a nappy[/quote:2vi68iab] +1. I think this has a lot to do with parents not wanting their babies to grow up or being afraid to "push" them too hard. When I met H2B his daughter was 3. By the time she was 4 years old she was still wearing nappies in bed, drinking from a bottle and speaking like an infant - "bop bop" for bottle, "beep beep" for car, "moo moo" for cow etc. I didn't want to step in too soon but when we'd been together a year I had to say something and get him to start treating her like a four-year-old otherwise she would have started school talking like that and still drinking from a bottle. He was pretty much overruled in everything he tried to do with her by his own mother and getting him to stand up for himself with her was the biggest issue. She still treats FSD like a baby at any given opportunity but thankfully now that they are no longer living with her she doesn't get as much of an opportunity. Noodlehead I presume your niece hasn't started school yet? I know there are schools in the UK that insist children are fully toilet trained before they can start.
ReginaFalange Posts: 10290
I read it as full time nappies- not just night-time ones. :wv I guess as Sacarlet said- she'll be ready when she's ready.
brightling Posts: 1496
Just remembered something there, DD1 is 5 and in Senior Infants and there is a girl in her class who still has her soother!! Was walking with the kids a couple of Saturdays ago and this girls dad drove past with her in the back. I nearly died when I saw it. No mistake!! DD1, little granny that she is, turns around to me, "Oh my God, Mam, did you just see the state of Mary there with her dodi, I mean how old is she!!" Definiteley down to the parents!