Offering a seat on the bus / train

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Urban Fairy Posts: 3987
Whenever I've mentioned this to people in work and at home, the reaction is generally that people are horrified, but I'm wondering if presented with the situation would you genuinelly think you would do the right thing. I'm very obviously pregnant (8months at that!). Theres no little bump that you can mistake for a beer belly and theres no clothes in the world that can hide the obvious. My bus route is usually fairly full by the time it gets to me and I use to at least be able to get an aisle seat somewhere upstairs at the back. For the last fortnight in particular there are no seats when it gets to my stop, perhaps this is a repercussion of the petrol prices rising. I've even gotten DH to drop me to a few bus stops back but it can be just as full. The 30min bus journey has become a nightmare because I'm depending on the kindness of others to offer me a seat. Well, you think in this age of obsession with social networks that people might have become more 'socially aware', but obviously not. I've had to stand all the way into town about 5 times in the past fortnight. I stand half way back on the bus on purpose, not just in the buggy bay, so I've cornered a niche of seats if someone gets up. I dont like acting the martre so I dont stick (or have the need to) my belly out, or try make eye contact, I just concentrate on my positioning so I dont slide up and down the aisle when the bus turns a corner. The other day I looked up and caught at least 6 or 7 people looking at me and then quickly looking a way. On Friday last week I was standing as usual and I heard a ROAR from the back of the bus. Some older woman: THATS A DISGRACE THAT YOUR ALL SITTING ON YER ARSES WHILE THAT PREGNANT WOMAN STANDS!!HERE LOVE TAKE MY SEAT. I was :-8 , but a little bit thinking fair play to her. With that, the man I was standing beside jumped up immediately and positioned me into the seat. I just think it’s a pure disgrace, and all these people are about my age (25-35). I’m sure other pregnant women or existing mums here can verify that standing or walking for more then a certain amount of time completely exhausts you and you could end up actually falling over. I was pretty much collapsed against the bus pole by the time it got to town on a few occasions. I know in the mornings you can be in your own little world, but god love these people when they are old, or pregnant, or on crutches when they’ve to depend on the kindness of strangers to give them ease off their feet for a few minutes bus journey.
Urban Fairy Posts: 3987
Sorry and just to add I know people pay a bus/train fare are completley entitled to a seat, its really just me pointing out neighbourly compassion then anything. :wv
nelswife Posts: 3869
I very rarely use public transport but when i do (and did years ago ) i always offered up my seat to an elderly person / pregnant woman and person with young child I think its disgraceful that no one offers up their seat anymore!!
ReginaFalange Posts: 10290
I would always offer my seat up but TBH there have been a few times when I haven’t as I wasn’t 100% sure if the person was pregnant or not! I know that you are visibly very pregnant but sometimes you can’t be sure and I’d die if I offered my seat to someone who was just carrying a bit of weight on their tummy- for me and for them!! If it was obvious I totally would and I agree with you that a lot of people just look the other way now.
streaks Posts: 3592
Totally get where your coming from,but I think this kind of ignorance has become normal in Ireland. I think it's so rude and I genuinely would offer my seat to an older person or pregnant lady, if I was in that situation I'd like someone to do the same. Maybe you need to stick it in their faces a bit more urban fairy!!! ;o)
SunnyK Posts: 3834
I would ALWAYS give up my seat for someone pregnant or elderly....I seriously think it's terrible manners for people who can easily stand for the journey to leave people standing who would be uncomfortable / in pain or something. >:o(
Urban Fairy Posts: 3987
[quote="ReginaFalange":xysmddd0]I would always offer my seat up but TBH there have been a few times when I haven’t as I wasn’t 100% sure if the person was pregnant or not! I know that you are visibly very pregnant but sometimes you can’t be sure and I’d die if I offered my seat to someone who was just carrying a bit of weight on their tummy- for me and for them!! [/quote:xysmddd0] :o0 I know exactly where your coming from, I would be mortified if it was just a bit of weight they were carrying all at their front, so there is a degree of 'hmmm will I or wont I'. Unless its really really obvious I'd be the same as you.
teapotty Posts: 2085
Yip I'd always offer an old person or a pregnant person (I make sure I'm 100% sure though) a seat. One day I was on the Luas and there was a girl who I thought was pregnant but I really wasn't sure- I just couldn't offer her my seat for fear I was wrong. I figured better leave a 4/5 month pregnant lady standing than abosolutely mortify a pudgy non pregnant lady!!!! But in your case if you're clearly pregnant I totally sympathise- you'd think people would be a little kinder.
MrsAH Posts: 3715
I remember getting on to the luas with a broken foot, full cast, crutches, the works. No one offered me their seat. I was clearly struggling for balance for the journey, no one cared. I would always offer my seat to someone who needed it. You do need to tread carefully with pregnant women vs water weight.
ohsotired Posts: 7071
DH & I always offer our seats to people on the Luas. I've often seen people in other carriages asking would they mind if they took their seat. If I was you I'd have no hesitation in asking somebody would they mind if you had their seat as you're heavily pregnant. Not ideal I know but then again it's not ideal for you to stand all the way into work either!