Oh im so mad, the cheek!!!

I really need a rant, im extremely pissed off and so is h2b and I don't blame him. Just off the phone to my mother and was saying that im heading away for the weekend with my friend. Straight away my mothers on a rant at me that I should be getting my priorities straight and saving for the wedding instead of wasting money on weekends away. I think the last time I went anywhere was last summer with h2b. So its not as if im off somewhere every weekend or anything like that, Im lucky to get out once or twice a month if me and h2b have the money. Anyway mother asks who's minding dd while im gone for the 2days and I said h2b obviously(h2b isn't dd biological dad but he's the only dad she's ever known, don't have any contact with her bio dad) H2b is fantastic with her loves her as his own. Anyway when I said to my mother that h2b is minding her she said she'd prefer if dd went out to stay with her for the weekend because she doesn't think h2b would mind her properly Im raging the cheekk of her to say that when he's been nothing but fantastic with her since we met!! Im so mad!

Wow thats so out of order. Your poor h2b, bet a comment like that would make him feel like crap. Does she often make comments like this, or is it completely out of the blue? I'd say you feel like telling her to eff off.

wow lorsteph, i can't believe she said that! bad enough to comment on u having a weekend away and then to make the comment about your H2B!! poor him, he must be so insulted, the cheek of it. you'll definitely have to talk to her about it, make clear that you were both very hurt by her comments and highlight how out of line she was. maybe talk a few days to calm down and have the chat, hope you get it sorted.

[quote="handymammy":1hsjxy4x]Wow thats so out of order. Your poor h2b, bet a comment like that would make him feel like crap. Does she often make comments like this, or is it completely out of the blue? I'd say you feel like telling her to eff off.[/quote:1hsjxy4x] Ya she does tend to make snide comments like this sometimes, im just so mad, need to calm down before I talk to her

This sounds like something my own mother would say! She would be of the opinion that no-one could mind her grandchild better than her. Including said child's mother (my sister), never mind a [i:rmq7gh97]man[/i:rmq7gh97]. As for the dig about going away for the weekend, again my mam's pretty old school and a firm believer in "saving for a rainy day". She would see weekend breaks in the mouth of a wedding as the height of madness! I'm sorry for you as you've obviously never had this kind of thing from your mum before so maybe its out of character? Supposed I'm just so used to this kinda thing from my own mother, I don't pass any remarks Hopefully she'll calm herself down and come back with an apology. Mothers eh?

Oh she's completely out of order! What's she going to say when you get married and your H2B is your daughter's step-father. Will she still have a problem with him minding her then? I don't blame you being upset. He's not just some random man you picked up on Saturday night and are now leaving your kid with him!

I'm so shocked, I don't even know what to say!

She was way out of line to say that. Your mother should trust that you're a responsible mother yourself and would only leave your child in the care of someone who will look after her properly and that your H2B is well able to look after her. And as for the weekend away, its your money so you're fully entitled to do what you want with it! You must be so p!ssed off.

Oh I'd go mad as well! Your poor h2b but you know, she probably doesn't mean any harm... some women are just of the opinion that men cannot mind children, simple as that. You just need to be calm, firm, stand your ground and say, "I'm sorry you feel that way Mam but I trust h2b 100% with dd and he will be taking care of her for the weekend as agreed". I find saying "I'm sorry YOU feel that way..." usually works - you're putting the blame back on them while being nice!

I'm a soon-to-be stepmother and my FMIL didn't even try to spare my feelings by saying something similar to my H2B...no she said it to my face: "I don't trust you with FSD, I don't think you have her best interests at heart". Now if I hadn't just spent the previous 2 months decorating the child's bedroom, making learning aids out of brightly coloured paper to help her with her maths and reading, bringing her to and collecting her from school every day and doing her homework with her every afternoon then I might have just thought she was being a bit overprotective but coming off the back of all that I was incredibly insulted and H2B absolutely lost his rag over it. I'll never have a decent relationship with my FMIL and your mother is at risk of the same with your partner.