Very new bride to be and searching for some sanity!

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clueless2 Posts: 34
Engaged all of two weeks and have just started to look into wedding venues but already think I might be losing my mind! Did anyone else find it hard comparing what's on offer at different venues - some have cheaper meals but more expensive drink, or ridiculous overnight rates for guests etc! Anyone have a good list of questions I should just run through with each hotel? On a second note - did anyone have a bit of a struggle with their h2b at the early stages! For example, he's decided he wants a big party with lots of people and not to bother with any of the formal dinner or traditional stuff. Not exactly my idea of wedding day! Also, he's decided that flowers are a waste of money and we shouldn't have any. If I want flowers something else in the budget will have to give. No doubt I'll be able to convince him back to what i want (7 years of practice!) but at the moment everything just seems like a bit of a struggle. Please someone else tell me they went through this and it'll all be fine! O:|
mollyeile Posts: 2486
Welcome to the madness. Lots of people find they have very different ideas to their partner about how they picture their wedding day. The key is compromise I guess, and don't allow yourself to be rushed into decisions regarding venues - take the time you need to decide what is best for you. Good luck and Enjoy!
fifi09 Posts: 414
Welcome Clueless2 I'm engaged since just before the new year and have just booked our venue last weekend so know what your going through as will all the other wollies. The venue is difficult to decide on so take your time with it. As regards your h2b, is he saying no to [u:guu9nq49]all[/u:guu9nq49] flowers???? That sounds a bit extreme as you'll prob want a bouquet for yourself at the least. Sometimes men don't really understand the in's and out's of planning a wedding. Personally I think you have to have some sort of meal even just for yourselves and immediate family (that's all that really counts anyway). A friend of mine is doing this very soon for about 50-60 people and then having a huge party in the evening with 350 guests. Would this be something ye could maybe compromise on? Try not to stress too much. :wv
Mrs Summertime Posts: 126
Hi and welcome Clueless 2!! Yes I can sympathise with you! Especially about the venue! But really take your time! I booked a hotel and then changed my mind 6 months later and booked another - talk about stress cos I had to keep the exact date as I had all my other suppleirs booked for that date! So moral is - take your time until you are sure! That is the fun part - I loved looking at venues!! Below is a list of questions that migth help! I got a shock when I read this for first time so don't worry about it just pick the few keys questions that are important to you! Good luck with your search! • What are the arrangements for greeting guests as they arrive? • Is there a drinks reception? • What is included in their Wedding packages? • Is there complimentary accommodation for the bride and groom? • Is there any reduction for wedding guests accommodation? • Are there special reductions for off peak times, i.e Mon - Thurs, Nov - Feb? • How do they display and organize the table plan? • Are Place name cards included? • Are menu's supplied? How many per table? • What flowers/decorations/Centre pieces are on the tables? • Do you provide flowers for the top table? • How much can you incorporate your colour schemes into the room? • Can you instruct them on setting the tables? Are there any restrictions? • Will there be somebody to put out the favours/table accessories? • What types of Cake stands do you have? • What type/shape of tables do you have? • What ideas do they have for placement of the tables/top table? • Do they do a table plan printout? • Can the hotel play music from a CD, or is there piped music in the hotel/venue complex? • What time will the meal be served? • Do they come around with more vegetables during the meal? • Will there be tea or coffee served after the meal? • How much wine will be needed? • Do they allow you to bring your own wine? How much is charged for corkage? • Is there a vegetarian option? • Is there a children's menu? • What wine would suit your chosen meal? • When should the cake be left in, and where is it stored? • What time is the wedding cake served? • How much of the wedding cake is cut? • What is the best time the evening reception guests should arrive? • What time do you put out the evening reception food? • Is there a limit to the amount of evening guests you can invite (room size)? • How long after dinner/cutting the cake will the room be ready for the band? • How do we confirm our booking? • Payment - What percentage is paid before, and after the day? • How many rooms are allocated to the wedding party? • When do they ask for final numbers? • What costs are incurred if the numbers differ on the day? • Is service charge included in the overall price? • What is hotel policy on weddings? i.e one wedding a day. • How many waiters, bar staff are assigned to the wedding reception? • Bar extension, how to go about setting it up? :wv :wv
MRS NYEB2007 Posts: 3275
[quote="Clueless2":21mq4k3k]Engaged all of two weeks and have just started to look into wedding venues but already think I might be losing my mind! Did anyone else find it hard comparing what's on offer at different venues - some have cheaper meals but more expensive drink, or ridiculous overnight rates for guests etc! Anyone have a good list of questions I should just run through with each hotel? On a second note - did anyone have a bit of a struggle with their h2b at the early stages! For example, he's decided he wants a big party with lots of people and not to bother with any of the formal dinner or traditional stuff. Not exactly my idea of wedding day! Also, he's decided that flowers are a waste of money and we shouldn't have any. If I want flowers something else in the budget will have to give. No doubt I'll be able to convince him back to what i want (7 years of practice!) but at the moment everything just seems like a bit of a struggle. Please someone else tell me they went through this and it'll all be fine! O:|[/quote:21mq4k3k] It will be fine but ye both will have to compromise, tell him the way you want it and do a budget for that, then listen to his way and do another budget and somehow using bits and bobs from each list find a happy medium Good luck
milis Posts: 7998
Men don't always think before they offer opinions on the wedding, I'd go back to him with a rough budget, and then ask him to do a budget for what he wants. I'm sure he doesn't see much point in the wedding dress/shoes/hair/ make up either, but they're not for him, they're for you *) (You could always suggest you'll do without flowers if he does without the stag)
clueless2 Posts: 34
Thank you so much everyone - sanity returning! Great to know others went through same thing and I will take on board all the advice. We don't really have any date in mind so I guess we can take our time deciding on venue and find somewhere we both like. Have decided next step is budget to see what we both think is important and what's not. Also, thanks for all the questions Mrs. Summertime, it's great to know what to look out for! No doubt will be on again when we have a venue shortlist! Thanks all :wv
clueless2 Posts: 34
P.S. Millis love where you're coming from! I'll budget for the most expensive wedding ever and scare him a little! ;)
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