Lads, take note – here’s some advice the groom should never listen to. The wedding is for both of you, not just your other half!
Let her plan the whole thing!
It continues: she’ll hate it if you interfere, if you try to help it’ll just start an argument, yadda yadda yadda. Ok, it may be true for some brides, but definitely not all. In fact, the overwhelming feeling out there is ‘why isn’t he helping me more? It’s his wedding too!’ Don’t be that guy who just shows up looking pretty to a done deal. The groom should be able to take a proud look around and think ‘yeah, I helped make this happen too’.
You can get away with anything on your last night of freedom!
‘It’s the stag do, man! What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas!’ There are many best men who are planning their own dream stag do, not the groom’s. We know the groom isn’t supposed to know anything, but goes along anyway. Well, he also has the right to say ‘I refuse to do anything I’d be ashamed to admit to my fiancée’. There are so many options that come with no moral hangover the next day. Of all the types of bad advice the groom should never listen to, this is the one with potential long term consequences. Just don’t.
Put your foot down and demand that Lamborghini!
‘She’s spending the whole budget on flowers, and you can’t have this one thing? Mate, this is just the beginning.’ Whoa there, cowboy. No doubt it’s nice to arrive in a Lamborghini. But that’s like ¾ of our budget for your three-minute arrival. It’s not a battle of wills, it’s a matter of being smart. How about a compromise? No Lamborghini now, but have a luxury car upgrade for the honeymoon. That’s two weeks of driving a convertible down the winding roads of Monaco or some other glam place. Doesn’t that sound like a much better option?
Image from Karen & Danny’s real wedding by Algarve Weddings by Rebecca
You are not Beckham, quit that pampering!
Ah yes, what groom doesn’t want to look like the Beast next to his Belle? You know what we mean: same messy hair, razor burn, a shirt button missing… The groom shouldn’t be ever ashamed of looking handsome… dapper… princely even (you know what I’m talking about, all of you who saw Harry and Meghan get married). With the gorgeous bride next to him, he’ll be glad he finally spent some time preparing to look his very very best. So if anyone says this, don’t listen! David Beckham looks great always.
Brides and mams fight all the time, leave them to it.
This is like saying, put blinkers on and continue blissfully unaware until the wedding day. This is not what the bride wants. Put yourself in her shoes: she’s in over her head, dealing with family pressure from all sides, while also trying to decide about stuff like napkins and bridesmaids’ dresses. What she needs is someone – the groom! – to make her feel stronger. Listen when she offloads and tell her you’ll back her up no matter what she decides. With the two of you standing united, you can tackle any wedding planning drama coming your way.
Shut up and don’t say anything, she’ll get mad!
She wants your opinion – and you want to give it – but someone gave you this bad advice. The problem is, you don’t know it’s bad advice, so you follow it. For example, you see your bride-to-be is struggling, but you don’t say a thing. You notice that one catering option is better than another, but you don’t say anything. You even see her making a mistake somewhere, but you still don’t say anything! Why not? Speak! She’ll feel all the more confident knowing you’ve got her back.
When she starts crying, get out of the house!
Grooms, understand this: unless your bride is a wedding planner for her day job, she is finding all this a little more overwhelming than she expected (or a lot more overwhelming!) Not matter how high her stacks of wedding magazines, she is like a ship in choppy pre-storm waters, for about a year on average. She did not expect half the things that happened, and won’t know what hit her when the other half comes. So be the guy she can lean on. Be the one she knows she can always count on, no matter how much she cries and wants to elope. You can start being a good husband now, while you’re still a fiancé.
Above image from Anne & Julian’s real wedding by Denlo Photography
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If you think the bride should always have the last word, then Rachel is on your side! A devoted fan of everything quirky, unusual, colourful or crafty, she loves scouting WOL's real weddings for unique and fun touches. When not gazing at pictures, she's dispensing no-nonsense advice on everything from reception entrance songs to bridesmaid problems.