Do you ever look at your fiancé and wonder ‘what are you really thinking about this whole wedding thing?’ Well, we’ve done some totally scientific and wide-ranging research of willing soon-to-be-married males, and it turns out their thoughts about the wedding day may run a slightly different course than yours. Provided, of course, they all told the truth. We present to you our findings – 27 things your groom might be thinking. Go on, ask him – see if we’re right.
1. Am I meant to be buying some kind of special groom underwear for the wedding and wedding night?
2. And speaking of wedding night… will she be upset if I fall asleep? I’ll probably be tired and a bit drunk!
3. Will anyone notice if we sneak out of the reception early and go for a pizza?
4. Why is the checklist so long, don’t people just want to eat, drink and dance?
5. Can we sneak a few crates of vino and beer into the boot of the best man’s car?
6. If we get any cash gifts, will she let me buy that scooter? Or a Playstation 4? Or at least a new pair of Converse? Please?
7. What if I make a funny face at the altar, and it’ll end up in the photo album forever?
8. Or worse, will someone put a video of me crying at the altar on Facebook?
9. Or is it ok for a man to cry on his own wedding day?
10. What if my palms get really sweaty and I drop the ring?
11. What if my best man totally humiliates me in his speech?
12. What colour is mauve, exactly?
13. As the groom, should I have the sexiest suit, or the most stylish, or the most comfortable one? Can I have all three?
14. If she can have an expensive dress she’s only going to wear once, can I buy my suit?
15. Will it be appropriate to wear my own wedding suit to another person’s wedding? Or will I look like the groom again?
16. Do I have to dance with my bride’s dad?
17. What if he says something mean about me in his speech?
18. Can we have karaoke?
19. Can we bring a football and have a five-a-side on the grass for the guys?
20. Would it be ok to have a song by Poison or Oasis for the first dance?
21. Do we have to smush cake into each other’s faces?
22. Why is the menu so posh? On my wedding day, I’d like to eat everything smothered in melted cheese.
23. Why can’t we just email invitations, and only give printed ones to people who don’t have email? Like Grandma?
24. If I already gave her a ring, do I still have to buy her a gift? Can it be something we can both use? Like a drone?
25. Since I’m in charge of arranging transport, can I have a Batmobile?
26. Will I have time to swing by McDonald’s drive-thru on the way to the church in my Batmobile?
27. Will your dress fit in a Batmobile?
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