Thank god everything is going okay with this pregnancy, and since I'm pregnant I haven't felt so sad about the miscarriage I had in May. But in the last couple of weeks I just can't help thinking of the baby that I would have been having probably next week. I keep thinking, god what if everything had gone okay, what would I be doing now, would I have gone early and be after having the baby already. Its making me feel really sad, but I'm feeling so guilty for the baby that's growing healthily inside me for feeling like that.
God its such a mixture of emotions really. I'm presuming its normal.
I suppose you'll always wonder what if, you know.
Sorry girls, I'm rambling a bit.
Last year when I had my MC I got a Christmas decoration for the tree with just "Our Angel 2006" (probably sounds horrible but REALLY helped me!)
This year when I hung it on our tree I cried for hours (my DH didn't know what was wrong and at one point was saying that we have a healthy baby growing in my womb and not to be thinking about the pass and that baby if it was going to upset me soooo much)
I LOST it with him and told him that I'd never not think about the baby that I lost as it means/meant the world to me and not a day goes by STILL that I don't think "what would have it been like" or "was it a boy/girl" and how our first Christmas would have went.
I think it's TOTALLY normal and it's just a part of having an "Angel in heaven"
It's TOTALLY normal, cause I feel like that too (or maybe the two of us are mad!
Don't be sorry. They sound like perfectly normal feelings to me. It's only natural that you're thinking of your little angel so strongly now. You are entitled to grieve and is nothing to feel guilty about. Just give yourself all the time you need and cry if you want to cry because it's all part of the healing process.
Madgie, I've been feeling the same, as I would have been due next week. I'm trying to focus on this pg and it definitely makes it easier but it's only natural to think of what might have been if things had worked out differently.
Our angels will be watching over our babies next week I'm sure and they know we'd never forget them.
My baby would have been due in about 2 weeks and I have really been thinking alot about it all lately. I am so full of apprecition and love for our baby I'm carrying at the moment and feel it will make the next few weeks easier to bare. Grief is grief though and so I'll allow myself feel sad when I am but it's alot of different emotions. I think I feel guilty when people ask me is this my 1st pregnancy and I say yes as I don't want to tell people I hardly know about having a miscarriage.
Sorry for rambling but just wanted to let you know you are not alone in how you feel.
It's absolutly normal pet, iv'e grieved on each due date and I will never forget what could have been.