How do I approach this?

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skitchums Posts: 1283
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Ilovetoast Posts: 2267
if it were me id put it on the venue and id say its a hotel policy.. this kind of thing gets my goat!!! why do people assume the kids are invited!!!
skitchums Posts: 1283
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Ilovetoast Posts: 2267
i know.. was just saying to h2b there that we have found the unexpected people to be the most awkward, like the people closest to us.... but i we had the kid problem too, i can understand people wanting to bring them but at least wait until they're invited, dont just assume! we've gone with the all or nothing approach on the kids side and its nothing.
skitchums Posts: 1283
[quote="timeflys":3fjgttd0]i know.. was just saying to h2b there that we have found the unexpected people to be the most awkward, like the people closest to us.... but i we had the kid problem too, i can understand people wanting to bring them but at least wait until they're invited, dont just assume! we've gone with the all or nothing approach on the kids side and its nothing.[/quote:3fjgttd0] Yeah that's the ideal way to go but it's not so simple for us. My brother and his family are coming from Oz for the wedding, I haven't seen them in 4 years since tey moved from here. There'll be 3 kids, well the oldest will be 16 by then, a 10 yr old and a 7 yr old. I couldn't imagine not having them there.I have one other nephew living nearby. My OH has 3 also who he would be very close to so there'll be 7 in total. I don;t have any kids myself but I wouldn't expect them to be invited to a wedding in Italy. I suppose everyone has a different outlook Oh well, just one more little complication to deal with, it makes it all the more interesting! :)
zoey Posts: 1574
Hi there, I'm just going to be the devil's advocate here and speak from the side of someone who has a child.... We were invited to a wedding in Spain last summer, it was an old school friend of mine and we are very friendly with them both. We spent ages deciding and trying to plan around DS whether we would go or not. We discussed bringing DH's parents over with us so they could mind DS while we went to the wedding (but they weren't keen - they're not into flying or holidays etc). We also discussed just going over for 2 nights and leaving DS with some of our relatives. But in the end we didn't go. It was just working out to be too difficult. We have no relatives really that would have been able to take DS for 2 nights (he was only 8 months at the time) and we couldn't take him with us and bring him to the wedding. I was really disappointed to be missing my freind's wedding and I think she was a bit put out because I'd say she thought that I didn't make enough of an effort :o( But honestly, once kids come along, things like going to a wedding overseas are just sooooo difficult (even going to a wedding in Ireland can be difficult :o0 ) So I just wanted to give you a bit of perspective from the other side. Now in saying all that, I think it's very cheeky of your friend to just assume that his daughter can tag along to the wedding. If it's just him and his wife invited to the wedding then they either need to get someone to look after their DD while they go (not as easy as you might think) or else stay at home. And finallly.......getting married in Sorrento sounds just amazing :o)ll :o)ll :o)ll DH nad I went on holidays there about 6 years ago (pre DS :o0 ) and I just fell in love with the place. It's just the most idyllic setting for a wedding :lvs
FlexyDee Posts: 4904
I will probably be shot down but is this really such a big deal?
dymo2 Posts: 787
You have to remeber that your wedding is abroad and the way things are people might be looking at making thisa family hoilday it is not likle they can leve the kids with someone overnight and pick up the following day the will possibly be going for up to a week and some people would not like to leave their kids for that long.Could you not organise something that would keep the kids happy for an hour like face paiting or something.I Know it is your day but when your wedding is abrod you have to see that some people will make it there yearly hoilday if if was at home i thinnk it is diffrent
Ilovetoast Posts: 2267
I can see where the other side is coming from but i just dont think people should assume they can bring the kids.. at least ask! i dont have kids myself and am not great with kids and so wont be having any at my wedding, its the bride and grooms decision. I think its a bit unfair on the child to even be brought, its long, their bored and will end up asleep at the function anyway. Plus a lot of couples are happy to have time away from the kids so theres that side too. I think when you plan on having a wedding abroad you dont expect everyone to go and its ok if people cant because of kids. Bottom line is though that you dont assume you wait until you know for sure. If it doesn't suit, then im sure the bride and groom understand.
skitchums Posts: 1283
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