In My Opinion

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MrsI2B Posts: 159
I have previously made some of the following points in a thread started by TepidPants about why WOL has gone to sh!t lately, but they've deleted it. This thread made me think about some bugbears I've had since joining this forum. Also, I have sensed a lot of disrest over recent days (particularly nights) what with the onslaught of imitators and various comments made off the back of these posts. I am a new poster here so as a "newbie" I have made some observations. Someone mentioned how they were fed up seeing the same names pop up in every thread. I agree with this to a certain extent. There is a definite clique (hate that word) or heirarchy on WOL. Now of course its understandable that people get to know eachother over the months, or years in some cases and friendships/mutual respects grow. I personally have no problem with this. But what I do find very annoying is that time after time, I see posts by new wollys completely ignored. However, when the older wollie posts, either a long-winded or a one word response, we have a 3 or 4 page thread filled with questions, laughs, hugs, "+1s", "You're so rights" and "Couldn't agree with you mores". Again, I personally don't care so much as I am here purely for advice and/or opinions on wedding related topics, not to make friends. And sure if I have a laugh along the way all the better. But there may be some new girls out there that would like a chance to bond and they're not getting the chance. This in crowd mentality must be very offputting for new people. Like being the new girl in school. The other major issue I have is when a new poster makes a comment or asks a question that the older/more senior wollies take exception with. An example of this was a recent one "Should I Ask My Guests To Pay" (or a similar title). Well my God did that turn into fiasco. I posted on that thread at the time that it made very uncomfortable reading. No-one (well I) did not come into this forum knowing correct wedding etiquette. Some pointed out that it should be common sense, but again there are no rules about present giving that I'm aware of. The new poster asked a question and wanted opinions and by God did she get opinions. Page after page of it. When it was pointed out that the answers had become aggresive we heard the oul sh!te about how this an internet forum, you have to be prepared to hear both sides of the argument when you ask the question. Hunky dorey, but in this instance there was only one side being given. Enough already. So to summise, I have found WOL to be a useful site, lots of info and ideas. But I feel a certain few of you are not giving everyone a fair chance. After reading for a mere couple of days you get to see the pattern of posters, one writes, another "+1s" then another "totally agrees", blah, blah, blah. Then a newbie makes a comment and its completely ignored! Ridiculous. Remember, even the newer members have something to offer if given the chance. So if some of you could crawl out of eachothers arses for a while it might improve things for us all. All IMO (always very important to make that point I've noticed :o0).
Jawl Posts: 8881
Of course you are going to see the same names pop up in threads. It's called being a regular poster :eek :eek
MichelleMyBelle Posts: 1270
And so begins yet another controversial, attention seeking thread...think I'll make myself a cup of tea for this one...
StupidSexyFlanders Posts: 8402
I agree with some of your points MrsI2B, but on others I think you are a bit wide of the mark. For example, it is not just new posters who's posts are overlooked sometimes - there have been threads where I might have contributed and my post wasn't commented on or agreed with but I wouldn't get offended by it. It might just be that it doesn't reflect majority opinion or it isn't festooned with enough smilies to draw the eye in! I agree with you about the "Should my guests pay?" post - the OP relented on page one and still got 4 more pages of the same advice. This happens frequently and wrecks my head sometimes but its just one of things. Some people don't bother to read the whole thread - they'll just read the first post and give their opinion. Annoying but there isn't really anything you can do about it.
veryvalentino Posts: 259
I'd agree with you PO on many points here, but it's like normal life, there are always going to be cliques unfortunately! I find that if you stay away from certain threads you can ignore the majority of it!
Jawl Posts: 8881
[quote="StupidSexyFlanders":28m2i7x5]I agree with some of your points MrsI2B, but on others I think you are a bit wide of the mark. For example, it is not just new posters who's posts are overlooked sometimes - there have been threads where I might have contributed and my post wasn't commented on or agreed with but I wouldn't get offended by it. It might just be that it doesn't reflect majority opinion or it isn't festooned with enough smilies to draw the eye in! I agree with you about the "Should my guests pay?" post - the OP relented on page one and still got 4 more pages of the same advice. This happens frequently and wrecks my head sometimes but its just one of things. Some people don't bother to read the whole thread - they'll just read the first post and give their opinion. Annoying but there isn't really anything you can do about it.[/quote:28m2i7x5] I have been guilty of this. I might be busy at work, and just pop on read the question and reply with my answer. Unfortunately that's just the way it is. And any OP can choose to stop reading the thread if they don't like it, I often have :o0 WOL is a great outlet, and a great source of help and information. But sometimes it has to be taken with a pinch of salt, it's not the real world, it's an internet forum, used for to bounce ideas or guage opinions, or just let something out. What you must remember when you are posting in a public place is, you are inviting a wide range of opinions back!
macattack Posts: 1617
I hate to say it but I tend to agree with most of your post. Don't get me wrong I love WOL & I've had some great advice here which i've found invluable but what you have said about it being difficult for a new wollie to break through the "cliques" & make friends is something I would have to agree with. That's not necessarily what I'm here for but maybe some new wollies are & I'm not sure that the more established wollies are completely open to this?! I do think that a few of the more regular users tend to stick together although the majority have been pretty welcoming & helpful. A little aside note which really hasn't much to do with anything but just wanted to say how much I enjoy Bonnie Parker's posts. There's a lady who isn't afraid to speak her mind. Respect!
StupidSexyFlanders Posts: 8402
[quote="Jawl":3d171uwy][quote="StupidSexyFlanders":3d171uwy]I agree with some of your points MrsI2B, but on others I think you are a bit wide of the mark. For example, it is not just new posters who's posts are overlooked sometimes - there have been threads where I might have contributed and my post wasn't commented on or agreed with but I wouldn't get offended by it. It might just be that it doesn't reflect majority opinion or it isn't festooned with enough smilies to draw the eye in! I agree with you about the "Should my guests pay?" post - the OP relented on page one and still got 4 more pages of the same advice. This happens frequently and wrecks my head sometimes but its just one of things. Some people don't bother to read the whole thread - they'll just read the first post and give their opinion. Annoying but there isn't really anything you can do about it.[/quote:3d171uwy] I have been guilty of this. I might be busy at work, and just pop on read the question and reply with my answer. Unfortunately that's just the way it is. And any OP can choose to stop reading the thread if they don't like it, I often have :o0 WOL is a great outlet, and a great source of help and information. But sometimes it has to be taken with a pinch of salt, it's not the real world, it's an internet forum, used for to bounce ideas or guage opinions, or just let something out. What you must remember when you are posting in a public place is, you are inviting a wide range of opinions back![/quote:3d171uwy] You're far from the only one who does it, and like I said its just one of those things. On a forum with so many members there is bound to be things some members do that annoy others (not even annoy, just a little irksome I suppose) but if something like that was going to get to you then you wouldn't last long on a forum anyway. Definitely agree with the "pinch of salt" advice.
TracyBarlow Posts: 943
I agree with everything you've said OP. What members here need to remember is that there will always be new brides, this is not a general chat forum, its a site specifically geared towards brides, and there will always be new bride-to-be's joining, and they should be treated with the same respect as a former bride who has chosen to continue to post long after their wedding day is over, whether to give advice to new brides, or to get involved in the TTC/P&B forums. No one group owns the site, so for a small section of people to try and lay claim to it, and try to control who posts and what they post, is a bit sad really.
StupidSexyFlanders Posts: 8402
[quote="TracyBarlow":d1u6wxcz]No one group owns the site, so for a small section of people to try and lay claim to it, and try to control who posts and what they post, is a bit sad really.[/quote:d1u6wxcz] WHO are these mysterious Wollies who claim they own the site and try to control its content? I'm really intrigued cos this line is trotted out every so often but no-one ever says who exactly they're talking about.