long one & opinions needed

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mama Posts: 126
Hi Wondering what peoples opinions are on this, Me and H2B are getting married July this year, I will be 26 and he is 19 years older - I have started university this year - studying physiotherapy, H2B is really really ready to have kids and so am I, I feel it is unfair on him to ask him to wait not just 3 more years but another 2 while I do my junior rotations which need to be done straight after the course finishes or no chance of getting employed a year or two after - jobs to much in demand. I would love love love to be a stay at home mum, but really really want to finish this course, do you think it is fair to have a baby and then carry on uni full time, take a year out or what - H2B thinks we should be able to manage to have the baby and me carry on studying - I guess what I am asking is what do you all think?
sally Posts: 1140
This is a toughie. You say your husband is quite keen to have kids..... you sound quite keen also. I know from experiance that once you start getting broody its impossible to wait as long as 5 years... it almost killed me to wait one. on one hand you have age on your side.... you will only be 31 when your finished everything and are ready to have a baby..... but on the other hand we never know whats going to happen and if you were to have problems concieving you would regret the time you put it off. As for college it should be easy to defer for a year while you have your baby and return to it. I have lots of friends who went back to college after having kids as their babies made them reasses their life and they wanted different things. Your husband sounds like he will be a great support to you if you are in college and you will really need that with a baby in tow. I suppose the only issue is whether you can afford it as it will add another year to your studies and kids are expensive. Personally if it was me I would try for a baby and see what happens. It will make things more complicated but you can achieve anything if your determined enough and motherhood gives a woman great strength. Good luck and let us know what you decide.
Tedsters Posts: 1688
Oh this is a difficult situation to be in and indeed although you have age on your side however your hubbytobe does not. If you choose to wait 5 years, your hubby would then be 50 when you begin trying for a baby. You will need to come up with a compromise on this one. Is university the standard Sep/Oct to May because if so then you could maybe plan things so that you could have you baby in the Summer. Would hubby be able to compromise on his working hours also and be available to look after your baby. People always manage somehow when a baby arrives and you may discover a network of relatives willing to help babysit. Women can work and be mothers at the same time. I think that the main thing is to discuss everything together so that there are no surprises after you are married. Good luck.