MIL Newfound interest

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Childmad Posts: 85
I don’t know where to start. It’s gonna be a long post-sorry in advance! Never saw eye to eye with MIL. For no specific reason, other than she’s never liked me. Plus, DH doesn’t get on very well with her, so it makes it difficult. Am expecting twins in the next 3.5wks. MIL has shown absolutely no interest in the pregnancy so far. Even to the point of ignoring scan pictures when we called in to show them. Meanwhile, FIL very excited! Saturday, FIL was down in our house helping DH do some work. Doorbell rang & when DH answers door, who’s standing there? MIL! We were in absolute shock. We’ve been living there 2 yrs & she’s only ever called down, when she’s been invited for dinner. She said she couldn’t face going into an empty house & thought she’d call down to say hi. We were flabbergasted. As was her husband! Made tea & showed her the nursery etc She was full of chat. Can’t wait for the babies to come, apparantly. Wants to take pram for a test drive, blah, blah. They left & myself and DH were in total shock. DH is a bit unnerved by it all. Normally if we call to their house, she ignores us. I don’t have any idea what’s going on. DH reckons we need to set down some groundrules so she doesn’t arrive unannounced when the babies come. 45mins is probably bit far to just drop in, cos it’s not as if she can be passing! He’s afraid she’s gonna try and takeover. To be honest, I don’t mind sooooo much, they are her grandchildren, but at the same time, I’ve been her daughter-in-law for 2 yrs, dated her son for 8 yrs beforehand & she’s never so much as spoken to me & now I’m so close to having babies, she’s suddenly very interested. On the other hand, I don’t want her just dropping in whenever she feels like it, especially as I’m planning on breastfeeding & I wouldn’t feel comfortable with her there etc. and especially because she’s never shown any interest before, I’m reluctant to let her get involved now. DH and myself in total shock & don’t know how to proceed! Any advice/outlooks gratefully accepted.
sept09baby Posts: 1094
Has anyone (maybe FIL) had a chat with her? Sounds as if she has realised that if she doesn't make an effort she'll miss out a lot with the granchildren Difficult situation in that your DH doesn't get with her - otherwise I'd suggest he sounds her out!
Emme Posts: 4735
Thats a strange one but maybe you could use it as a new beginning? As long as she's being nice to you and treating you with respect I'd give her another go. Sounds sad really - not able to face an empty house - maybe she's had a bit of a revelation and has had a long hard look at herself.
Baby Mad Posts: 1756
I'd say she knows she's going to miss out if she doesn't make an effort. My MIL is like this too. DH is from the UK and honestly I've never seen sooo much of MIL and FIL since our little boy was born, it's only once a month but I'm sick of them and I think it's because they never really made an effort before hand. We would have been lucky to get a visit twice a year. It might be a good thing, as long as she treats you nicely. My MIL is only interested in DS, she couldn't care less about anyone else >:o( I suppose it's not a bad thing either at least she makes an effort for DS. Inlaws, can't live with them, wouldn't have DH without them!
neeov Posts: 4256
Her previous behavior sounds very far from normal. She has shown no interest in you or your DH. She is unlikely to have any real interest in the babies. I'd say this is a phase of interest, maybe other people have been asking her about the babies and she needs to have a story for them. She might be very conscious of what people think of her. I'd say she will revert to normal behavior very soon. You can help to keep her up to date with the babies by sending frequent photos and a few anecdotes. They she will have something to show and talk about if the neighbors ask.