I am a long term follower but I changed my name for this post. My OH and I have been together for 14 years and married for 3. We have always had an issue communicating about things. When my OH is annoyed, angry or just doesn't want to speak so he gives me the silent treatment and after so many years, I started to do the same back to him (not helpful or productive I know but eventually you lose respect for yourself when you feel like you're the only one trying).
Over the past year, things have gotten worse, to the point that we talked about splitting up. We decided that we want to stay together because we love each other but that we need help with communication so we have been going to counselling over the past couple of months, sometimes as a couple or something individually, depending on what the counsellor thinks.
I thought things were going well and we seemed to have moved to a better place but the last few days have been horrible. My husband is annoyed at me because I didn't know the answer to something (I think...we were having a conversation and then 2 minutes later, he stormed off and hasn't spoken to me since).
We have had other times like this in the past few months but this time it's worse because I have a big birthday coming up this weekend and we're having a party with friends and family, then we have a dinner planned with our parents and then we are also meant to go away together to a nice hotel for a night. On top of all that, we are also going on holidays with some friends in a week.
I just can't understand or believe that he's doing this to me right now. I asked him last night if he was deliberately trying to upset me but he just laughed and said that we were not having that conversation. (Which, knowing him, means that he feels it's me that has done something to upset him and until I apologise to him, he won't speak to me).
I am really just sick of this behavior. I know he has a counselling session tomorrow but I don't think it's going to make any difference. The party and holiday that we have planned will be tough but I just pretend that everything is ok but I don't know how I can pretend that everything is great in front of our parents at dinner and I am tempted to cancel our hotel night. But I feel like if I do that, then I am moving in a direction that I'm not sure I want to go.
Sorry for the long post...I'm upset and confused and I don't know what to do.