So, I think I've found my dress but...

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lydiared Posts: 127
Hey Everyone! I'm a 2016 bride (September) and today I'm almost 100% sure I found my dress. It's everything I've been looking (and had huge difficulty) finding. Here is where the 'if' comes in!! It's second hand. I know there shouldn't be a stigma to this but I can't help feeling slightly disappointed - no girl pictures herself getting married in a dress that's already been worn after all. The dress is in immaculate condition and has been worn once and I know that a dress at a sample sale (which I would buy no problem buying) could have been tried on by dozens of girls. I actually know someone who did buy a tan stained dress at a sale. I know no one will know it's second hand but the thing is I WILL. Should I get over myself? Has anyone else bought second hand? :)
Jessiejess Posts: 87
I don't think there should be any but!!! I actually think you're very lucky to have found the dress even if it is second hand. It's in immaculate condition and just think how much love the previous bride had for the dress!! It can be your 'something old'. Nobody needs to know that it's second half.... I'm just starting to look for my wedding dress and I genuinely think if I found the dress second hand( that was immaculate and my dream dress) I'd be happy to get it! Best of luck with it all!!
Westernlass Posts: 92
If you think of it as vintage rather than second hand does that help?
lydiared Posts: 127
Thank you so much! I know you're right of course. I've always been a charity shop enthusiast and I've no problem wearing second hand usually, I just wondered if there was anything a little...I don't even know... about wearing a second hand dress. Yeah, it probably would help actually! Funny how vintage sounds so much nicer than ''second hand" I think another thing is that I'm kinda sad to be missing out on the whole ordering....waiting 5/6 months for it to come in...and then going to try on and all the excitement surrounding that.
smurph2015 Posts: 162
I don't think it should be an issue, I think you are so lucky to have found the dress you love and in such good condition. For the "experience" side of it could you maybe ask a friend or family member to store it away for a few months and not even let you peek at it.. Then when the time comes you can go for a "fitting" and see if you need to get alterations done to it.
LadyLizzie Posts: 1724
Go for it, there's no stigma around second hand & don't feel obliged to tell people if you'd prefer not to anyway. If you buy the dress, it's now yours and that's that :-) I chose an antique engagement ring ie. essentially second hand & the same thought flitted through my mind but it was the only ring I felt was the right one! Never regretted it.
twinny Posts: 32
I would consider this pre-loved rather than second hand. I would've bought second hand if I had liked any I seen. Go for it, you wont have to worry about it arriving on time. You will still have alterations etc
tooty Posts: 95
hi ya, I was in similar situation to you. I went to a few shops, didn't see anything i liked or suited me. i went to barnados bridal and found the dress, it was a lovely experience, must nicer than the bridal shops i had been in. i would be an avid second hand shop buyer also and a friend always said that 'sure ull probably buy your wedding dress in a charity shop', it was never my plan to get it there but it worked out like that, and also i felt the money i spent was also going to a good cause. i never wanted to spend thousands on a dress, id rather put that money into my rings. i came home with my dress, it has been stored in my sisters, i have just taken it to get it altered. if your happy with it, nothing else matters in my opinion. everyone has different ideas and its not for everyone but again its ur opinion that matters.
Noisin Posts: 448
I believe your very lucky if you got a dress you love and got it second hand at a bargin price. Wouldn't I have loved to get my dress second hand and save myself all that money. I would much prefer to spend a couple thousand on my house or as last poster said her rings, at least you see them daily, than a dress to be honest, that's just my preference. But unfortunately for me I found it really hard to get a dress I liked second hand and I did try. So I spent between accessories for the dress, alterations, a head piece to match etc etc almost 2k. So the fact that your dress is second hand would be the least of my worries, Id be more concerned over whether you love it or not, or are happy to wear it on the day. The whole ordering it in and waiting 6 months to come in, its not that altogether very exciting. Once your married you dont really focus on the process of getting the dress. Its most important you love the dress and I emphasis that, as I would regret if I didn't love my dress. Yeah I reckon you were very lucky, as you said your almost 100% sure, thats all you can be when picking it, and you said you had huge difficulty finding it. Best of luck with your final decision.
HarmattanRose Posts: 1444
If it is the dress you want I would say definately go for it. I bought mine from a "stock" closing down sale and never regretted it. I got it 75% off the retail price and everyone admired it on the day. The one thing I would say is to check if alterations have been done on the dress that they can be easily reversed /changed to suit you. The dress I bought was a couple of sizes too big for me and I was very disappointed with the dressmaker I chose (despite her coming highly recommended). I did get her to redo some of the alterations but I could see that the dress wasn't quite as perfect as it could of been. Whilst I don't want to sell my dress I don't think I ever could because of the way it was altered. Just something to think abo