1. The Budget – Oh, there it goes…
Numero uno on the list and one you’re probably already more than familiar with is the budget. The budget is one of the top stress factors for 90% of weddings because a) weddings are expensive (duh!) and b) no matter if you’ve €5 or €50K in your back pocket, it will never feel like it’s enough. One major aspect of getting your head around this is to find out what the cost of the average wedding in Ireland, work out what you can afford (see 10 Things to Ask when Planning your Wedding Budget) and then decide what things are most worth spending your wedding budget on. Of course it’s all well and good having a number in your head; sticking to it is a different matter. Stay strict with yourselves and discuss any transactions no matter how small they seem (celebratory drinks after finding your bridesmaid dresses, eyebrow shaping, shoe laces) – you’ll be surprised how quick they add up!
6 Things You Definitely Maybe Don’t Need for The Wedding
2. Keeping Parents Happy / Satisfying the Family
Before there’s even a sniff of an engagement, many couples already have a notion as to what way parents and in-laws will approach a wedding. Even if you think you know that your Mother in Law will be pushing for a church ceremony, or that your dad will be itching for a ream of invites for his friends in the club, you’ll be ASTOUNDED as to what wedding planning throws up along the way. Keeping family happy and staying true to yourselves often isn’t at all possible. One way to make sure your way is the only way is by paying for the wedding yourself. If you must accept a substantial monetary gift from a parent, make sure they know their role and how many people they can invite. Decide on the big ticket items yourselves and put the smaller, more flexible stuff up for discussion to make family members feel they can be involved. There will always be disagreements but by trying to be patient (even when from the way she acts it seems like it’s your MIL who’s marrying your partner), keeping a level head and ultimately making the decision that feels right for you as a couple, you can deal with family differences and come out on the other side without any regrets.
3. Finding the Perfect Venue
Finding the perfect venue is either the easiest or most stressful thing about planning the Big Day. Some lucky couples will have known where they were getting married long before they were even engaged but for those grappling with numbers, location, style and budget, this is all sorts of stressful. The thing is, much of the wedding hinges on the venue so getting this right will mean way less headaches down the road. Start by settling on a general location then find out what’s in your budget that fits with your style (needless to say we’d suggest using the handy weddingsonline venue directory or to fill out a short questionnaire and get Sophie to do the leg work for you!). Once you have a shortlist, get yourself to the wedding venue’s open day, where everything will be set up as it will be on the day and staff will be on hand to answer any questions you have.
4. The Guest List
As most couples learn on the road to the wedding day, the stress of the guest list is not just about numbers and what you can afford, it’s also a minefield of difficult questions, disagreements and diplomacy. Deciding who’s in and who’s out, whether a colleague constitutes a friend, parents inviting people they see on the street, cousins assuming they can bring their new flame and old flames presuming they’ve a seat at the top table… the guest list is never an easy task. One way to tackle the parents side of things is to give a certain number of invites to them and make sure they know that’s all they have, and when it comes to friends or colleagues and you want to keep an eye on budget, agree that you’ll only invite those you both know. This is tricky but it’s a good way to draw the line and keep numbers as low as you need them to be.
5. The Politics of ‘Children at Weddings’
Not a day goes by when we don’t have a new discussion on the weddingsonline forums about the politics of having or not having children at weddings – there’s no other issue that divides couples more! The funny thing is, the whole question of will we/won’t we invite people’s kids to our wedding doesn’t even matter a jot anyway, because most of the time family and friends won’t listen to you either way – hence the stress. The only way to get around this potential kerfuffle is to be firm about your stance if you’re not having children at the wedding, and whatever you do try not to start introducing exceptions (flowers girls/page boys are fine). Get the word out nice and early that it’s an over 18s only and make sure your parents know as soon as you do and can pass the note along.
6. UnPinDownable Bridesmaids
We’ve all heard the horror stories of having to ‘fire’ a bridesmaid, and even if you consider yourself the most level headed person in the world, sometimes you may feel like ‘unasking’ your mate to be your maid! If a bridesmaid is driving you nuts, first of all remember not to blow it all out of proportion. The fact is that your wedding is probably not the only thing going on in her world at the moment and sometimes a nice conversation about anything other than the wedding can get things back on track with each other. Of course there are some friends who you discover are just really scatty – and you’ll never pin them down for a shopping day or a dress fitting and if that’s the case, she probably knows already that she’s not up to the role. Be measured with your stress, don’t assume because you’re getting married you’ll be the centre of all your friends’ attention 12 months out. Remember why you asked the person to be by your side on the day (probably because you love her, flaws and all!) and think that sometimes weddings aren’t everyone’s ‘thing’ then face your decision head on instead of letting bad feelings fester.
How to be an Awesome Bridesmaid
7. The Table Plan
Even if you’ve the most friendly family or genial wedding guests, the table plan is still bound to give you a few headaches before the Big Day. Of course a beyond-frustrating lack of RSVPs can and will add to the overall farce that is the seating plan, but it’s also deciding where to place divorced aunts and uncles, feuding friends, single colleagues, kids and the priest that can cause a whole host of stress. Unfortunately one of the best ways to deal with the wedding table plan is to leave it as long as possible before putting it together – there’s no point starting when you’re not sure who’s actually coming! Ask your venue when the last possible date for sending the seating chart to them is and work to that, trying not to stress about it months or weeks before. Still feeling a bit stressed? Check out our guide on how to Make your Wedding Table Plan in Two Easy Steps.
Five ultra stressful things that didn’t make the list – Random people inviting themselves to the wedding; Mass booklets (for some reason); seeing out ill-judged DIY projects; the speeches; guests not understanding how to book a room in a hotel for themselves…
Photo credits: 1.(Main Image) Photo by Martina California via weddingsonline | 2. Photo by Michelle Prunty Photography via weddingsonline | 3. Photo by Tomasz Kornas Photography via weddingsonline | 4. Photo via The Glitter Guide | 5. Photo by Art Wedding Photography via weddingsonline | 6. Photo by Couple Photography via weddingsonline | 7. Photo by Mark Fennell Photography via weddingsonline
